The Heather Sager Show

Powerful Messaging Secret to Attract Clients You Actually Want to Work With

June 20, 2022 Heather Sager Episode 154
The Heather Sager Show
Powerful Messaging Secret to Attract Clients You Actually Want to Work With
Show Notes Transcript

What if I told you that one overarching shift in your messaging could change the quality of the customers you attracted?

If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated because you’ve attracted freebie seekers, looky loos or clients that are super draining— today’s conversation will be a game changer. 

This episode is short and sweet - so tune in to hear this one thing that has made not only a tremendous difference in my business (and my career) and get ready there's going to be some Sager rants.

Grab the show notes and full episode transcript here. ➡️ http://heathersager.com/blog/154

Elevate your speaking skills →  www.heathersager.com

Make your onstage moments grow your business 👉19 Magnetic Phrases to say on stages, podcasts & live video to send your ideal customer running to your opt-in 👈Grab this actionable, fill-in-the-blank style guide with swipe worthy examples to attract leads like a magnet (without sounding scripted or schmucky). 

>> CONNECT WITH HEATHER ON INSTAGRAM @theheathersager for daily tips and inspiration. 

Heather Sager  0:00  

Well, hey friend, welcome back to another episode. The time I'm recording this, we just wrapped up the launch for Business by Design. You know, I've been talking about the show for the last couple of weeks. And today I am celebrating and recording this on Friday, you will hear this first thing, right early on Monday, and we're celebrating. My goodness, y'all know, we went all out on this launch because I fully believe in that program and no, this is not a commercial for that because doors are closed, but it does lead us into today's conversation because here's the interesting part. This is a very meta thing, right? I've been on my brand, I've been promoting something out in the world, you are an online brand, you go out and promote things in the world. Yet, in this scenario, when you listen to my show, you're also potentially my ideal customer. So there's this very meta thing where what we can do is actually study the things that I do on this show and we study it from both you as a consumer, consuming up my content, potentially consuming up my programs, but we also can flip it on its butt and study it as how can you learn from it as a marketer, as a business owner. 


Heather Sager  1:11  

And today's conversation, what we're going to do is talk about something that I'm extremely intentional about with my messaging that I want to encourage you to do the same because if you do this one specific thing that I am going to hammer on today, get ready there's going to be some Sager rants, if you focus this into your messaging, you will find that you start attracting more of the people you want to work with and less of the people who drain your energy. So if you're ready for it, here we go.


Heather Sager  1:55  

Well, hey, friend, welcome to another episode of the Heather Sager show. It's me Heather Sager and I'm honored to be your speaking coach here today in this episode. I've spent the last 15 years studying and building my communication skills to inspire and teach business owners and their teams from stages around the world. I've had the honor of speaking on more than a thousand stages on topics of leadership, premium brand positioning, sales, and of course communication. And now my focus is helping fellow online entrepreneurs become magnetic speakers, so they can make a bigger impact in the world while growing their income. This show right here was designed to give you a dedicated space each and every week to grow your skills and keep your big goals front and center. And if you liked today's episode, be sure to grab a screenshot and share on Instagram and tag me @theheathersager so I can give you a shout out and celebrate the work you're doing. All right, let's dive in, friend. It's going to be a good one.


Heather Sager  2:57  

All right, well, let's jump through it. You're dying to know. Okay, so Heather, what is the secret? What is that one thing? What should I be adding into my messaging because I know you want to attract more people into your programs, more people into your world. Oh, isn't that the dream? Isn't that the dream in online businesses? If they're only there was one specific sexy thing that we can do for everything else, then everything else to fall into place. And I think that's the crap that we're sold to as marketers. There's not just one thing.

But this one thing we're going to talk about today has made not only a tremendous difference in my business, but it's really made a tremendous difference in my career. So I want to set the stage here for a moment and think about the conversations that you are drawn to online as a consumer. So think about and I don't mean consumer as unlike shopping at Target or create their I mean consumer of online education online content. Think about the people that you follow online right now. And I want you to pay attention to what becomes present for you when you think about who you would follow and what you admire about them. Just get present about with probably couple of names, maybe some images, maybe there's some visuals that come to mind around the people that you really look up to. Now, I want you conversely to think about, this is gonna be a little, might be a little triggering, I want you to think about are there some people or accounts or names on Facebook that when they come up in your feed, there's a visceral reaction. There's like, oh, maybe you've blocked them, maybe you've muted them, maybe you've unfollowed them. We've talked about that on the show is that you maybe shouldn't mute people that are not given you your best feelings. But I want you to think about for a moment those people that come up that chest rub you the wrong way. We all have, oh my gosh, I have them too, right? We all have them. What I want you to think about is get really present to the contrast and how you feel when you come across their content. There's negative reactions and there are positive reactions. 


Heather Sager  5:14  

Today's conversation, what I want to get you thinking about is less about, am I saying the right thing, less about what's the tactic I need to use in my messaging, less about how do I address the objection of I don't have time, I don't have money. How do I convince them to buy in into my ideas. I want you to focus less on the steps and the tactics and the what to say. And I want you to start thinking about what is the feeling you want to have with the people that follow you? Because here's the thing, I'm noticing a very contagious, sorry for that word. I feel like that's a little poop. Like you're not supposed to say that right now in this whole like pandemic world, but very contagious. A trend in the online space, especially in the last three years to get caught up in very negative, very emotionally charged conversations online. There is a tendency to point out what's wrong with the industry, point out what's wrong with marketing, tendency to point out what's wrong with who's leading the message, or what people are saying, they're terrible or they're wrong, or their values are bad, or any of those things, just notice and get present to how do you feel when the conversation is directed at negative things? Chances are, it riles you up a bit, maybe it makes you get a little angry yourself, and making sure there's there's definite things that we should be passionate about, and we should be mad about. 


But what I want you thinking about is when it comes to business content, when we're always pointing at what's wrong in the world, we are pointing our audience to negative feelings, and those negative feelings are becoming associated with us. So here's the thing. When you think about those people that you follow and love online, where are they directing your energy? Are they making you feel hopeful, excited, seen, understood, excited about the future? Are they helping you see the possibility? Are they showing examples of people who are killing it? Are their messages ones of positivity? and I'm gonna tell you chances are like 99.9% positive, it is positive, directed.


Heather Sager  7:46  

If you want to start attracting people who you want to work with, ie, you do not want drainers or complainers. You don't want people like nickel and diming for their money and milking the ROI, and I don't know write any of those kinds of things. If you don't want people pushing all your boundaries or complaining for like, you didn't attach this thing or pointing out your typos, or if you don't want that negative energy in your life, this is my invitation to you, my tough love, call out your crap moment. How are you contributing to the conversation in your content? Are you bringing out positive inspirational content into your messaging or are you participating in negative conversations that are just fostering more negativity? Because here's the thing, have you ever been to, of course, you've been to a networking event, you've been to a party, or maybe you just chat with a neighbor like next to you at a coffee shop? What is the natural tendency for people to do? It's complain. It's so easy and natural for us to complain about the weather, complain about the lack of air conditioning in a room, complain about how cold it is in the conference room, complain that the coffee is cold, complain that the presentation went too long and there was no pee breaks, complain that the speaker went on way too long and extra, why they just get the point already, complained that oh my gosh, they should have had a worksheet, complain that oh my gosh, the refund period isn't so long, complain that they're so lean. Oh my gosh, complain but they sent another email. Oh my gosh, it's so easy. It is so easy because there is so much to complain about. 


Heather Sager  9:33  

But here's the thing, when we start falling into the negative pattern of complaining or aligning ourselves with people that can complain, we attract complainers. Like attracts like. So this is your tough love Monday moment. We're headed into summer. It's going to be breezy time. It's going to be time to be chill. I want you to like, just relax with your family, have some fun in the sun. I want you to start getting present around what you spend your time and energy talking about and thinking about. Because if you find yourself falling into that pattern of complaining, maybe you're complaining and becoming resentful of the work you're doing to support your customers, or maybe you're complaining because of the lack of opportunities coming your way, or maybe you're complaining, because other people are in your niche and they're being way too bold. Whatever it is, I say this with all the love of the world, because y'all I've been through these cycles where you go down, you go down a rabbit hole and it's it's just easy. It's so easy. And what's interesting is oh, I say this with all the love, it's slippery and it's not noticeable. We're at first seems like a very relevant thing like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. But then all you notice that it starts snowballing but you don't notice it. And pretty soon, you're frustrated, everybody's annoying you, the world isn't working, your business not working, everything is falling off the rails and you're like, ah, it's not working. When we keep looking for more, that's not working, we're gonna keep getting more of things not working. 


Heather Sager  11:21  

Over the last month, we've been talking a lot about stepping into the role of a leader, stepping up and owning your role as a leader, not just in your business, but a leader for your audience. Part of really strong leadership is ensuring that you're painting a picture of possibility. And that does not mean that we need to be disillusioned with sunshine and rainbows and being all okay all the time. You can be realistic. But it's up to you to say if I want to attract incredible people in my program, happy energetic attitudes excited, vibrant, full of life, you first have to model that. Because those star people, those high performers, those really excited top clients that you want to work with, they don't work with drainers and complainers. So if you're unhappy with who you're attracting, if you're unhappy with the kind of messaging or the, this is going to sound really weird, and I don't mean it to you, but the quality of people that come in your program, you have to ask yourself, how are you showing up? Because our audience is a reflection of us. Your audience is a reflection of you. Build your community by standing up and being that bright light in their lives. So the number one thing for you to start incorporating your message is positivity. I want you to start thinking about how are you bringing inspiration? How are you bringing excitement? How you bringing in passion into everything that you do? Because when you do that other people gets excited. That becomes contagious in the best way possible. Imagine this, you walk into a coffee shop and the person greets you with the biggest smile on their face, Authentic, they're happy. They're excited, not the weird creepy smiles where you're like, dude, why are you so crappy? Like no like, right? Like, they make you feel good. When you feel good and someone else's presence, they feel good. The person next to you feels good, it's contagious in the best way possible. 


Heather Sager  13:31  

I know if you're listening to the show that you want to make an impact in the world know that you want more people to hear your message. You want to be a spark for others and that starts by today. This is my invitation for you to gut check for a moment. Ask yourself how much positivity are you bringing into your business specifically into your messaging? Part of it is yes what we talk about what we say but also how you say it. So I want you to start thinking about this. How do these feel when you're running the business? How do things feel when you're showing up? Does it feel like a chore to go live on Facebook? Does it feel like a chore to do on my Instagram stories today? Does it feel like a chore to send an email or does it feel like a gift what an opportunity that you get to to be present in people's inboxes, in their lives? If you find yourself getting frustrated that only 16 people opened my email or oh, only four people showed up to my webinar. Catch yourself. Catch yourself, four people showed up to your webinar. Don't crap on those four people. Don't bring your disappointment because it wasn't a thousand. Don't you rain on that parade? They're gonna get that energy. So instead focusing on the gratitude for what is in front of us being there or focusing and leaning in on being able to impact the lives of those four people. What a gift and I know some of you might be rolling your eyes and going, what a gift, wha a gift? Y'all, I'm just going to tell you this is not natural things for me to say. Focusing on the positivity is not a natural thing. I am a natural, like, what we would call a realistic, bring it down to the level person, poking all the holes. I've had to force myself to focus on the lessons, the gifts, the opportunities, because I had to develop my leadership skills. 


Heather Sager  15:29  

Now, whether or not you've actually officially been in a leader role in your life, whether you've been a manager, whether you've led teams or not, maybe you were the captain of your soccer team, like you have to think about maybe you've never been an official leader position. Well, you are now, you are now even. If you don't have a team, if you have one follower on Instagram, if you're building a community, you're building an email list, you are a leader, and it's up to you to develop those skills to show up as one. And this thing, this thing of leaning into your positivity, leaning into the positive energy to inspire your audience, that's the thing that is going to help you be set apart. Because we both know that building a business, it's gonna take time, it's going to take resilience, we're going to fall on our face a lot and what's the easy path is when we fall on our face. That was hard to say, we fall on our face, it's easy to sit and stew and be like, Oh, I failed and cool. You want to have a moment we can talk so much about the fail and you could chat with your girlfriend's on Voxer your business bestie whoever is but the question is, are you going to get out of that stewing and pick yourself back up and say, now I'm going to show up for my people. Maybe you bring that failure in as a lesson to inspire others of look at me failing and look at me failing forward. Or you're going to sit and be like, oh, I failed, and then you're gonna bring in the resentful energy because now I have to do this stupid live, for now I have to do the stupid thing. We bring our energy forward. It compounds it's amplified. So the question is, what are you amplifying? What is the energy that you're feeding off of to grow your business? That is the question. And that is a question that I want you asking yourself every single week, every single day in your business? What is the energy that I'm bringing in for my audience? What does my audience need of me. And if you find yourself one week, going, Oh, I'm a little off. It's cool. Give yourself permission, sometimes we do need to stew in it and that's okay. Give yourself permission to do it without shame, without guilt. And then go Alright, here we go. Let's like pick it back up. I'm gonna get back into it. Sometimes we gotta fake it till we make it. Sometimes for me, I have to literally go on a walk. Sometimes I need to move my body. Sometimes I need to eat a fruit roll up. I don't know, is that a thing that other adults do? Sometimes you just got to like break into the kids snacks in the pantry, whatever you have to do to disrupt that flow. But getting back on track as a leader, whether you're launching or not, this matters all the freaking time. 


Heather Sager  18:07  

This is what I wanted to focus on today. This is the message. This is it. This is a short and sweet episode because I want you hear me, I want this to be something that you carried forward with you and this is the gut check to say what are you doing in terms of your positivity and your energy in how you show up for your audience, both in your messaging, but also in your every day. Be that bright light for your people. And let this be your reminder that you are a bright light and your people are waiting to see you. They're waiting for you. They want your message. So keep doing it. 


Heather Sager  18:39  

All right, I hope today's message quick, short. I hope this was inspirational to you. But also, I hope it got you thinking the best way possible to carry forward with your message. As we round out the month of June. Oh my gosh, I can't believe we're headed into summertime. I hope you have some fun stuff planned for yourself this summer. Whether it's downtime with the kids, whether that's hiding in the pantry from the kids, I'll be there with you later in July. I hope that you can take some time just to celebrate and reflect. You're doing it. You're doing this business thing. You're doing this getting your messaging down, you're doing this sharing your story out in the world, even if you're still maybe hiding a bit. This is a pretty amazing thing that you're doing. And I hope that today you give yourself some frickin credit. I hope that you celebrate yourself. I hope that you call out some wins which sidenote, let me actually I wanted to rant on this for a second. Are you calling out your wins? Are you telling people about it? Are you telling your audience about it? That's part of the positivity thing. Are you owning it or are you downplaying your wins because you don't want other people to think that you're a little too braggy? I want to see you share some fricking wins. So here's where I'm going to end today, friend. 


Heather Sager  19:57  

I have a challenge for you. It's a confidence challenge. The challenge is for you to declare one win that you had this week that you're extremely proud of. And you're going to post about it, I want you to go to your Instagram Stories, you can type it, you can tell it whatever you want to do. But I want you to share a win. We're going to unapologetically that was a really hard word to say, unapologetically. And if you have little, like word flips like that, more power to you, but I want you to go on your Instagram stories or on your Facebook or whatever. I want you to go and I want you to share unapologetically, I had this win. I want to share it with you, I want to celebrate. And then I want you to encourage your audience do the same. We need to be braver and stand in our wins and you can tag me in it. You could say hey, Heather, challenge me to share my wins. I challenge it forward. Women sharing their wins, maybe we can make that women sharing wins, that maybe we can make that a hashtag. I don't know. I just made that up on here. Who knows if it's taken or if it's a hashtag for something that's dirty. Let's hope that's not the case. But we need to start doing this. We need to be sharing our wins more because when we do we encourage other people to be bold, to be brave and share their wins, to lean into those big powerful moments. That's part of the powerful messages sharing those stories. Go forth and do it. I want to see what your wins are this week, friend.  Tag me in your stories @theheathersager and I cannot wait to celebrate you. Yes, you tagged me and I will repost it in my stories and get it out, you know, to my friggin huge audience of 3500 people on Instagram which, you know, three years ago that did felt really huge now. I guess it's all irrelevant, but I every single one of you. I adore you. I appreciate you. Let's share your wins. All right, friends. We'll see you again next week.