How to Ramble Less and Resonate More

Whenever I share that I’m a speaking coach,  I always hear a version of…

“Omg I need you, I ramble too much.”

The struggle is real when it comes to getting your ideas out of that brain, through your mouth and easily understood by your audience.

Now the question is, how do I fix this problem?

In today’s episode, I'm sharing my specific recipe—the exact exercise that I follow and I've used all the time to train my mind and mouth to sync faster and get better at articulating my thoughts. 

This will be the least sexy, yet most effective activity you do moving forward to get better thinking at your feet.

Tune in to learn and build the skills to help you become a more charismatic and magnetic communicator in your business.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Understanding WHY we ramble
• The REAL reason why we get annoyed when others ramble (it’s not what ya think)
• How to keep yourself from rambling in moments that matter
• How critical is being “concise”? 
• What it takes to trust your voice and build your communication skills 
• PLUS the go to drill I’ve taught thousands to get better at thinking on their feet 

EPISODE  SHOW NOTES👇
https://heathersager.com/episode203/

Chapters

• 0:00 Mastering the Art of Brevity
• 14:26 The Importance of Presence in Communication
• 27:24 Daily Rambling for Better Communication
• 40:56 Using Your Voice for Marketing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

The issue with length and lack of brevity is not the time, it's the lack of relevant substance in the message. It isn't about rambling less. It isn't about speaking more concisely. What we need to focus on is ensuring that the content that you're speaking about And I don't want to mean business content, i mean in everyday conversation, whenever you communicate the substance of what you're saying making sure that it's valuable to the person in front of you. That is the real challenge people have And, for the most part, when people ramble, it is often the first time they're trying to put words or language to an idea or a thought And therefore they're working through what they think about the thought as they share in real time, and the person in front of them is not really interested in all of that. They really just want to know the headline.

Speaker 1: 1:10

This is the podcast for the entrepreneur who wants to make a big impact, who doesn't shy away from hard work but also wants to enjoy life along the way. Hi, i'm Heather Sager, former executive-turned-entrepreneur, and I've spent the last 20 years working with premium brands on sales, marketing and communication, and I've learned that when you become a magnet with your message, you only need a hint of hustle to achieve your goals. Get ready to be inspired and ignited each week with tangible strategies on sales, speaking, marketing and so much more. This is the Hint of Hustle podcast. Let's go Well here from. welcome back to another episode. We are into summertime. Here in Sager household, my home is filled with boxes, as we have about a week, maybe a couple of days more, depending on when you're listening to this, when the moving trucks arrive and we make our way across the state. I've been talking about this for a couple months now. Maybe you're like Heather, stop talking about your random crap, although I don't think you're thinking that. If you listen to my show, you're actually probably very I don't know. I'm very curious about other people's like outside of business life, because you know this whole business building thing we're doing is so that we can live.

Speaker 1: 2:40

Okay, tangent, 20 seconds into this episode. I think it's really interesting. How so some people have brands online. They talk only about business and I'm always curious around. But what does life look like to like create that business? Or like, how hard are you working? I don't know. Is there more to that? I don't know. I like having.

Speaker 1: 3:00

I don't need to know everything about everyone that I follow, like TMI is a very real thing, but I do like knowing the context of solopreneurs And what I mean by that. I like to know. All right, so you have this business here. This seems what you teach, but like what life is it creating?

Speaker 1: 3:18

Is business the sole thing that you do, or do you also do other things? I don't know, maybe that's just a weird random thing. I guess I don't really. I guess I don't care about that with everyone, but I do find it fascinating when I find a mentor or someone that I'm really jibing with online. I find that it's typically beyond just business. So if that, if that's you too, there's my, there's my life update. We have not yet sold the house at the time of this recording, so that is creating a little bit of a stress for us that we're moving across this date and the house is not yet sold, but I'm not overly worried. I am a huge abundant thinker, so I know it will sell. I'm not worried about. Everything is going to work out Great.

Speaker 1: 4:02

So here we are for today's episode. Context for this episode. Today I'm going to answer. I mean this is, quite frankly, i know people say, one of the most common questions I get and it's kind of a BS thing, but this is legitimately the most talked about thing.

Speaker 1: 4:22

In every conversation that I have, when I am guest speaking in groups, when I am randomly chatting with someone at a conference, anytime, anytime, anyone like essentially learns what I do as a speaking coach. They always bring up one of two words and it's either talking about the challenge with rambling or the challenge with word vomiting. And it's so funny because anytime anyone talks about this whole, like Heather, i can't stop rambling. I call it a case of the rambles, where you're just, i mean, irony. Actually right now, as I say this, i'm just like literally rambling in this episode thus far. How funny is that? Anyways, a lot of times people are like I just I can't stop talking. I'm just kind of rambling on and on and I don't even know what my point is. Or I made by point like 10 minutes ago, but for some reason I'm still talking. And sometimes that might be in daily conversation, but it also comes a lot of business conversations. So, like in sales conversations, when you're supposed to ask for the sale and be quiet, a lot of times people just keep over explaining, trying to prove their value.

Speaker 1: 5:31

So the rambles or said in a more aggressive way, word vomiting. We all do it. It is a thing where we're like thinking and speaking at the same time And there is this idea that for some reason, if you ramble or have word vomit, that that is a bad thing. But that is just a normal thing. That is just part of normal human language. We all ramble and have like the word vomit situation.

Speaker 1: 6:00

What I think the challenges for most people is they find themselves ramblings in moments that actually matter. So, in the context of what I do I'm a speaking coach for entrepreneurs right, i help you leverage the time that you have on stage, be most effective with it as possible, so that you can have more time off stage, more freedom or flexibility, more revenue. Essentially, you have leverage by your stage time. You're so damn good and so effective with your message. You do not have to hustle all the time when you're off stage. So, inherently with what I teach, i have to help you with the skill of how do you be more potent with your words when they matter, how do you not ramble in moments that matter?

Speaker 1: 6:43

and what I realize is, while I answer this question all the time I don't have a dedicated podcast episode on this topic and when I realized that I'm like no frickin way. Of course I do, and I reference rambling and word vomiting and quite a few different episodes. In fact, one of the most popular downloaded episodes from search on my blog is episode number 18. Can't remember the exact title, but essentially, as I teach you how to how to reduce your filler words, that is a big one. By the way, if you haven't listened to that one, we will link it into the show notes. Here There is overlap between rambling and filler words, but you can ramble without having like a lot of filler words. They could be separate things, but I want to have a place that you can come back to over and over again when you need to sharpen your skills. Sorry, i'm getting notifications on my computer and I'm not going to go up and cut that, because I'm on a roll here and we have to help you be more concise and clear when you speak.

Speaker 1: 7:46

Now, before we dig into this, i don't want you to have this delusional belief that all of a sudden, overnight, you're going to sound like straight and to the point all the time. That would not be fun, that would not be exciting And, in fact. Well, if I were straight into the point, this podcast would be so fricking boring. It would be so boring. People don't want just the information, they want a little bit of the rambles. The side tangents Hello, sager side No, it's like a very real thing. The side tangents, those are sometimes where, like, the fun happens, that's where the experience happens, that's where people get to be like all right, she's a real person. Your audience wants that. You from like, from you too. They don't want just a straight information, only to the point Keep it tight all the time. Right, there's a time and place for that, but you don't have to be so dialed in all the time.

Speaker 1: 8:43

That's not the goal. It's the same thing I talk about when it comes to filler words. The goal isn't to completely eliminate them. The goal is just to make sure that they're not a distraction and for you to sound more confident when you speak and nail down your, your transitions and your intros, your outros, your point of awkwardness when you talk about money or offers or anything like that. So what we want to do here, our goal here you and me is you want to sound authoritative, you want to sound confident, you want to sound clear and, yes, concise when you speak, but also do not try to be something that you're not.

Speaker 1: 9:21

Here's a great example. I am not someone of brevity, meaning I am not a short winded person like ever. I have thoughts and I share lots of thoughts and I like sharing contexts and stories and site tangents. That's just the way that I communicate. So if I were to try to communicate in a super, super short way, there's a little bit of a disconnect that I'm kind of awkward and clunky and I get all up in my head And it's just really, really hard for me. And well, sometimes I do need to do it. Short form video on reals, which is like I hate doing them. I would much rather like clip back a longer thing. It's just not my wheelhouse. So for you, if you are a more long-winded person, i want you to know that it's not a bad thing. We need to know how to use it to your advantage. Another example of this My business coach, james Wedmore, who's been on the show a lot.

Speaker 1: 10:21

Him and I actually joke about it. Every time I ask him, like one question on a live or on the podcast, it's like a 20 minute answer And then he starts laughing. He's like, oh my gosh, that was so frigging long And I laugh and I say some lines of I expected it to be Like he is a long-winded speaker. But the thing is is I love listening to him speak. He has really great insights, he has really great cadence, he has really good power in his voice and varies his tone And the context context, no content. It's so freaking good. So the challenge that I think people have is when they think that people want brevity, which let me just do a little asterisk here. It is true, people do like brevity. Let me go off a little side tangent here.

Speaker 1: 11:11

Back when I was in corporate, one of the specific pieces of content that I taught was the disk D-I-S-C. It is a kind of like a personality slash, communication profile. There's a Myers-Briggs, there's disk. There's lots of different personality types. Disk was something specific And the reason why I love that tool so much is it was emphasized the way that we communicate with other people And disk the red in disk is called the driver And the high driver is somebody who speaks directly to the point and they want you to be directed to the point. Drivers represent, i don't know, less than 20%, if I remember that correctly please don't quote me on that But it's less than 20% of the overall population. So there is a subsection of people who do want that, but for the most part, people who say I wish I was more to the point where. I wish they would just get to the point already.

Speaker 1: 12:08

The issue isn't the length, the issue is the content. The reason why people get annoyed of someone rambling, it's because what they're sharing is not valuable to that person. I'll say that again. The issue with length and lack of brevity is not the time, it's the lack of relevant substance in the message. So, my friend, what I would really encourage you to think about is it isn't about rambling less, it isn't about speaking more concisely. Well, those are things we should look at.

Speaker 1: 12:45

What we need to focus on is ensuring that the content that you're speaking about And I don't want to mean business content, i mean an everyday conversation whenever you communicate the substance of what you're saying, making sure that it's valuable to the person in front of you. That is the real challenge people have And, for the most part, when people ramble, it is often the first time they're trying to put words or language to an idea or a thought And therefore they're working through what they think about the thought as they share in real time, and the person in front of them is not really interested in all of that I don't know backstory, or they really just want to know the headline, like what are you trying to get at here? So I'm going to share a couple of things today, and let me just preface this with I did not write out today's podcast episode as a formal training outline. I'm not here to go exactly step by step on what to do. Granted, i will give you some of that today, but that's not the goal of this episode. I don't want you trying to follow some kind of step by step guide here to handle your case of the rambles, to handle your feeling more confident when you speak, because if you try to make this a prescriptive thing, you're going to get so tied up in the process that you're going to forget the most important piece here, which is presence. And I'll say that again to hammer down on it. I don't want you to get caught up in the process and sacrifice presence.

Speaker 1: 14:26

What do I mean by presence? Well, when you're in conversation with someone else, when you're really present to that conversation, you're present not just to what you're saying, but you're present, to the how the other person is receiving that information. Are they head nodding? Are they confused? Are they interested? Are they looking around trying to escape the conversation? Are they in, are they out? You can tell the difference between somebody who's really invested and someone who's just being polite. And when we get so focused on the process being the right way to go about it and we forget about the presence factor, you actually sacrifice the presence factor. So let's talk through this. So I don't mean just the process and the process of how your structure communication I'm going to refer to. There's a process that you have to go through in order to build your communication skills, to be more direct, more concise, more relevant to the person sitting in front of you. So let's talk about what that looks like Now when you OK, i want you to imagine this.

Speaker 1: 15:32

I love a good simile or a metaphor here. So I want you to imagine right now that you are super freaking hungry And you walk into your kitchen and realize that you forgot to go grocery shopping this last week And you were down to the pantry staples that you have there. You don't really know why you bought. It was aspirational. Maybe I'm going to cook dried beans, if I ever think about it well enough in advance, but probably not going to happen. But I'm going to keep them there because I feel like maybe I'll be that kind of person one day. Anyway, just me.

Speaker 1: 16:06

Anyways, you're sitting there and you're like crap. I have to go to the grocery store, i'm starving. You don't want to order, grab a hub. Or you want to go out, you want to cook a meal. So we've all had this moment where we've gone to the grocery store hungry And you and I both know that we don't make the best life choices at the grocery store when we are starving. We're choosing things that probably are not the healthiest for us. They're things that we wouldn't even eat. Like our brains are just broken a bit when we're hungry.

Speaker 1: 16:34

So, just like in this idea that you don't go to the grocery store when you're hungry, you don't want to go into an important conversation, important interview, important opportunity, when you're going to have a literal, metaphorical mic. You don't want to go in hungry, meaning that you don't want to go in not having a clear path around what you want to talk about. This is the takeaway I want you to have is when you show up to speak. If you're in a low stakes environment AKA having casual coffee with a friend you do not need to do a meditation exercise of going. Ok, how do I want Stacy to feel today? How do I want this conversation to go? All right, let me put together a checklist. I'd like to compare some of our vacation schedules for our families. I'd like to understand how's your grandmother doing And how about her uncle? and go through a laundry list of contacts.

Speaker 1: 17:29

You don't go into the conversation with a checklist of things to talk about. All right, that's just not a thing. You're there to connect. You're there to catch up. Just let yourself be. That kind of thing is different than if you're going into, let's say, an interview on a podcast or you're going into a panel interview on a summit. Maybe you're on a panel or you're giving a talk Different stakes. So what I want you to think about is number one how critical is the conversation? The more critical, the more preparation you want to have going into it. But let me say this thing about preparation We think that it's an either all or nothing thing, that either we are totally winging it, no prep, flying by a seat of our pants, or that we have to sit down and actually write out everything that we want to say lest we totally fail because we miss something.

Speaker 1: 18:26

OK, you do not need to write out every mother-fricken thing that you're going to say, because that, too, takes away from your presence. We have to find a balance in it, and I'm going to link to some specific podcast episodes where I talk about different levels of scripting. It was one of my most early episodes that I did actually, i think right before the filler word episode or after We have that one there And then we talk about in another episode. I talk about why you shouldn't use a teleprompter, which I know might not sound very relevant to this specific conversation, but that's the solution that people come up with saying I don't want to be so rambly, so I'm going to use a teleprompter in my course videos, and I don't think that is the solution either. Listen to that episode.

Speaker 1: 19:08

I talked to you about just a happy medium in the middle, but what I want you remembering for yourself is it isn't about being so strict to get everything down. What we have to do instead is we have to learn how to have confidence in our own voice And how we approach that is, we have to build the skill of thinking on our feet and trusting our voice. Now remember last week's episode where I talked a lot about my butt and my butt muscle. We are back to that metaphor here Thinking on your feet, being concise, not rambling. That is a muscle. And if you want to be more, maybe have more brevity, but more of like. How do I get, how do I be more captivating? How do I ensure what I'm saying is relevant? How do I make sure people are sticking with me, even if it's not the shortest thing ever? Case in point me in every frickin' podcast episode. How do I do that? Well, my friend, we have to practice speaking out loud more and more and more, and what I find is we can practice one by ourselves, in private. I think that's the best way to do it. But then, two, you can treat lower risk communications as your practice for those higher stakes conversations. So let me just give an example of that.

Speaker 1: 20:33

You might practice by yourself in the car, and I will give you a little method here. It's not anything earth-shattering, but honestly, nothing is Like. You need the basics in order to build your skills, but I'll give you that in a moment. My specific recipe that I follow to get better at the less rambling, more like on the nose. But you can do it by yourself in the car. You can do it while you're taking a walk. Just pop in your AirPods or something right. So people think that you're talking on the phone. That's like the solution for all of that. Don't do that when you're driving, though. I don't think you're allowed to drive with AirPods in, so even if they're not on, you'll just freak people out. But you're an adult, figure it out. But you can do it in private.

Speaker 1: 21:11

But what I mean by that low stakes versus high stakes situation? I don't mean practice on your friend when you're at lunch, not that. Don't do that. What I mean is, let's say that you are going to do a guest presentation for one of your business peers And their audience. While you could be very helpful with them, they're not really your ideal client audience. So that would be a great opportunity for you to practice your message And, of course, serve and love up on their audience. But it's not high stakes, meaning it's not your ideal, perfect fit client.

Speaker 1: 21:44

I do this all the time. I speak in a lot of my friends' audiences that have audiences that are just more earlier in their business, or maybe they're not quite online yet And they're highly sophisticated, intelligent women in these groups. They don't classically fit into my online entrepreneur quote unquote ideal customer avatar. And what's cool about that is I get to go on those platforms and just serve the crap out of them, but really finesse and practice my message And sometimes clients come from it. Actually, a lot of times clients come from it But on paper they wouldn't have been my quote unquote ideal client because they either weren't in online business or for whatever reason. Please don't get cut up in that specific detail here.

Speaker 1: 22:26

My point I want to take away is not every stage opportunity that you have. You don't need to put in this big pressure on yourself to get everything dialed in and everything perfect. I actually treat every single one of my speaking opportunities as practice, which might sound weird. Even my, even my paid speaking opportunities. All of them are practice. It's like you know how, like doctors, they have private practices. It's called practicing medicine. It's every time you do it like you're practicing And I think this idea of practicing means that for some reason that oh, it's like not professional or that it's not a legit, real thing.

Speaker 1: 23:02

We have to do all this quote unquote practice in private, but communication is something that you do all the all the time, every time you show up, you are practicing becoming a better communicator. So, adopting that mindset, adopting that belief that I'm always going to be better, that there is no pinnacle where you have ever arrived at your communication skills myself included, you're always getting better. And what we want to focus on is how dialed in and tight you are with your language. It really is correlated to how significant the stage is. Now I teach this like I have a little model that I lay out with my clients around how to really set the dial for how much you need to practice for a stage opportunity. There's a hate saying this because it's going to sound a little weird, but there is a stage value matrix.

Speaker 1: 23:50

Ie how critical is it that you're super frickin dialed in or could you be a little more laid back? I'm not going to get into that this episode, but the point is you can use your trust, your judgment, right around how critical it is. But I would imagine, coming going back to the main thing of this episode is Heather, how do I start practicing being more clear, more concise, less rambly. So let's talk through the exact exercise that I use all the time and you're going to laugh and be like this is so dumb, there's no way. There is a way, there's a whole frickin way and I promise you I frickin promise you that this will work. Okay, so what you're going to do is I want you to think about a topic or a specific question.

Speaker 1: 24:34

Now, i'm a big fan of using questions. Pose a question to yourself, because you can pretend like you're interviewing yourself and it's easier to like start a ramble when you're served up with a question. You don't have to do that, you can just pick a topic. But I find this specific exercise is easier when you have a question. So, for example, let me teach you how to make your topic a question. Let's say I want to do a short five minute video or just a short answer of some degree around helping people be less rambly when they speak. Okay, so that's a topic. How do I turn it into a question? I would write Heather, i ramble a lot. How do I be less rambly when I speak? You see how I did that so clear. How do I help people be less rambly when they speak. Turn into question. Heather, i ramble a lot. How can I be less rambly when I speak? Okay, i'm going to ask myself a question out loud and then I'm going to answer the question out loud And, as I mentioned, i do this in private, by myself.

Speaker 1: 25:36

I did it when I'm driving, when I used to have a commute. I would do this on my walks, i would do this in the shower, wherever like. However you're comfortable, figure it out. And if you're like, oh, it's so awkward, it's kind of embarrassing Yes, yes, it is. It is so awkward and embarrassing to practice out loud in front of just yourself, which is hilarious and stupid. Like so stupid to think that we're embarrassed of ourselves. But it's just, it's new, it's just new. And, of course, this whole like fictitious thing is awkward.

Speaker 1: 26:07

If you've never role played before. If you've never I'm not talking like sexy role play if your head just went in the gutter laughing, you're my people, because my head went in the gutter as I said it. But what I mean by role play is like practicing a scenario, like a business scenario or like a script or something out loud. Back when I taught sales training people, i hated role play, but it was the most important thing that we did to help people get over that awkwardness. Because here's the thing you might think well, heather, i sound so much better answering that question when somebody actually asks me, and I would argue, if you're listening to this episode because you're having a problem with the rambles, the chances that you effectively answered that question concisely is very, very low.

Speaker 1: 26:47

So let's just do like a checkmate here, my friend, that if you think you are better live in the moment, that is a belief that is not going to serve you. Breaking through to your next level Is because that is your ego telling you that you are better in the moment and that you're better live and that you're better thinking on your feet and winging it. And I say that because I was that person. But imagine how much better you would be if you were, like, good at thinking on your feet and you were also more effective at it. That's the takeaway here.

Speaker 1: 27:24

So get over it awkward, talk out to yourself. You're going to say, heather, how do I get less rambly when I speak? And then you're going to be like, oh, rambles are awkward, and you're going to ramble it out and it will sound rambly And that's okay, you're just going to say it out loud And then, after you're done, you're going to think back and say what the hell did I just say? Did any of it make sense? What sounded good, what didn't sound good? And I don't want you to jump right in that moment to be like, well, i should have recorded it and then I can listen to it back.

Speaker 1: 27:55

The point wasn't to get that ramble perfect. The point was to get the ramble out as you would normally ramble, without trying to fix anything, just get it out. The ramble needs to come out, so just let it out. So you're going to go through a new one time and then you're going to think back and be like, huh, if I were to say it again, how can I say it better? Maybe you jot down a couple bullet points for yourself. That is totally optional. But then you're going to say it again Heather, how can I be less rambly when I speak? And then you're going to jump to it and you're going to answer the question and that's probably going to be shorter, it might be longer who freaking knows And then you're going to reflect back and say did that feel better, did that feel worse? Am I over the awkwardness of saying things out loud when I'm just kind of pretending All right, now I want you to do a third time. But the third time I want you to actually record yourself and you can just do the audio.

Speaker 1: 28:47

There are benefits of recording yourself on video too, but let's not go down that rabbit hole Just the audio, and by doing the audio it's going to put a little higher stakes on the table. You might even actually get a little bit more fumbling. You might be like and be weird about it, and that's fine. But what we're doing here, my friend, is we are working the muscle, the muscle that is thinking and speaking under pressure. And you're going to laugh because what's the pressure? You're just speaking to yourself. Oh my gosh, why is that? It's so hard. It is so hard for us to like fictitiously, speak out loud because we judge ourselves harsher than anyone else does. You need to learn to sit in the discomfort of practicing by yourself, because if you can begin to learn how to have fun and practice and play at the art of communication, that's when real magic starts happening. That's when we take the high pressure stakes out of this need to get like so perfect on stage. We've already had all this practice. We were already having fun with it quote, unquote, offstage or backstage.

Speaker 1: 30:01

So I just ran you through a very simple exercise that you're like, heather, that was it. That was the exercise, yep, and in the filler words episode I actually walk you through like more specific steps and where you're able to clarify something that I call golden fragments. And that's the process of where you listen it back and actually jot down notes of the little moments of brilliance that you said. So you can have those file that away. When it comes to rambles my example Rambles here's three little gold nuggets that I can talk about. You can have those on like a Google Doc or in a notebook or somewhere. So the next time you want to talk about that topic, you know what are the main points you want to hit on.

Speaker 1: 30:42

But the point I want to make here is, friend, it's less about you trying to take shortcuts, about trying to get it perfect right now. If only I were just like the best speaker right now And if I could just, heather, give me a fill in the blank around the hook, the teaser, the three things, what to say, the how to do my CTA Oh my gosh, i should probably make it real, like making fun of that. But what I want you to do is that process, that need for a template, that need for a script is removing your critical thinking skills and your communication skill building. What I want for you is not the quick hit of having a viral Instagram video because you were able to put together some kind of script that got a lot of attention. It's not about the formula. Right now, in this moment, if you have a problem with rambling, it's because you have a communication problem, and the only way that we're going to make you a better communicator is intentional practice. So here's what I want you to do. I didn't say I was going to make this very like skill building tactical, wactical. But here we go, my friend. What I want you to do is I want you to write down the top 10 questions And if you struggle with making these questions, start with the top 10 topics that you think are most important to your audience.

Speaker 1: 32:04

Make them as specific as possible. What do they ask you about? What do they want to know about? What are, like, the things that you want to talk about? Make sure they're relevant. But I want you to write down the top 10 things. Some of them might be general, some might be specific. Do not worry about getting these right. I just want you to have 10 damn things on your list And then turn them into questions, and it could be something. If one thing you have on your list is like live video, ok, let's turn into question Heather, why should I use live video in my business? Or Heather, what makes you great on live video? Heather, what are the biggest myths that people have around live video? You see how I just came up with like four questions, four or three, i don't remember, but just on that one topic.

Speaker 1: 32:48

Hmm, yeah, so what I want you to do is, from those topics you wrote down, could you branch out on each topic a few questions And then, ok, what am I going to ask you to do? I want you to tackle one question a day, and this is what I call the daily ramble. I said differently the daily word vomit, but you can choose which version you want, but you have to get into the practice of intentionally rambling out to build your skills every single day. This is not one of those things that you can do like a half day, cram it in intensive and you're going to do it back to back to back to back to back And all of a sudden you're going to be magical. That'll make a little bit of progress, right, if you can dedicate a little bit more time out of the game.

Speaker 1: 33:38

But this is actually a habit that we need to build. The habit isn't necessarily the daily ramble. The habit is articulating out one specific thing every day in repetition. If you're going to go through it, you're going to ask yourself the question. You're going to ramble it out. It's going to be garbage, might have a little bit of gold in there. But then you're going to pause and say, all right, let me do it again. You're going to take two, ramble it out, take three. You're going to record it And then from there you can listen to it back, find those goals and fragments, and then you can do it a final time. But the point is you're going to spend five minutes. You don't have to do more. I actually don't recommend a ton more unless you're preparing for something specifically. You can always ramble it out before a video or a live or an interview.

Speaker 1: 34:20

Practice stuff out loud If you're thinking about what you're going to say. That is not going to help you. It's not going to build your skill. The only way for you to become less rambly and more effective when you communicate more charismatic, more captivating, compelling what other fancy words can I use here? The only way is for you to actually do it and to expect that all of a sudden you're going to like, absorb this in an episode, think about it and then all of a sudden be like magnetic when you speak. My friend, you're setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment and a lot of frustration and a lot of self, a negative self-talk, because you're going to kick yourself in the ass after it doesn't go as well as you had hoped.

Speaker 1: 35:08

So do yourself a favor and if you want to get better at rambling, start saying things out loud more. This can go beyond the daily ramble exercise. This can go into say out loud when you reply to emails, read them out loud, write them out loud. As you're talking, it'll actually make you a better. Or as you're typing, it'll actually make you a better email response, because when you say it like you write it like you say it, you're going to sound more like a human. Whatever you can say out loud, do it out loud. If you can dictate notes to yourself in an audio app. If you can speak to your virtual assistant on Voxer or an audio app, obviously use your processes to make sure you have some backup to written if that's what's needed.

Speaker 1: 35:47

But the point is, how can you say more things out loud? That is the name of the game. That is how you're going to start getting better at your communication skills. That is step number one. I hope that has given you a little fire in your ass. If you've gotten kind of complacent with your vocality, with your voice, if you've gotten a little kind of rested in your laurels, as the expression goes, and you haven't been doing a lot of practice, might I encourage you to not do that? Maybe start saying some things out loud. Just five minutes a day. Gosh, i sound like an infomercial for like Jazzercise or like some kind of weird tool. Just five minutes a day. You too can be an excellent communicator, but it's true. All right.

Speaker 1: 36:37

I want to leave with this quote that I wrote down to myself over the weekend and I just freaking love it. And it's this. They say it's cringe, i call it courage. And what I want to leave you with on this quote is we live in a world where so many of us are so fearful of looking like an idiot, sounding like an idiot, of being made fun of. And really I think what that stems from is sure, we are fearful of being hurt by the words of other people, but I really think that what we're scared of is not truly being seen for who we are and the value we create in this world. And I think the reason why people are afraid of putting themselves out there they're afraid of honestly, i think they're afraid of putting so much practice and attention into their work is what if they put out their quote unquote best work or the next version of their work and it gets made fun of? What if somebody calls it cringy? And my hope for you is you can focus less on what people will think and whether or not it'll be cringy, and I want you to applaud yourself for the courage to put it out there, because I'll tell you this from my experience I put out the cringiest stuff, the cringe I still do, like I'm laughing at.

Speaker 1: 38:01

This episode was about rambling and what I just do. It is rambled on you for how long? But the point is you have to get over this like oh, what if it's wrong? What if it's bad, what if it's cringy? And you just have to have the courage to put it out anyways. That's the one thing probably many things. But the one thing I am the most proud of myself for is, even when I'm like, oh my gosh, i don't want to freaking know, i don't know if they're going to like it, i don't know if that was terrible, i have no freaking clue Like, what am I doing? But go anyways.

Speaker 1: 38:34

Having the courage to click, go. Having the courage to click record. Having the courage to raise your hand for being on a podcast or pitching yourself, or telling your friend, yes, i would love to speak to your group. Having the courage to stick your face and your name and your voice out there. Yeah, it's probably going to be cringy, especially when you start, and you will be so damn proud Because if you're focused on the person who gets to listen to your message and the change that that will create for them, that's why you're doing it. When you're focused on oh, it's so cringy, or you're focused on oh, what will they think of me? Your whole orientation is focused on yourself. Stop thinking about you and start thinking about your audience. You have a duty to show up for them. So let them call it cringe, we will call it courage And, my friend, i hope that this episode has helped you step into that courage a little bit more, to start focusing on being less rambly, start focusing on being more effective, more focused on the person that you're serving, so that you can just start getting more of your message out there.

Speaker 1: 39:50

I can't wait to hear what you thought of this episode. Shoot me a DM, as always on Instagram, i'm at the Heather Steger and friend. Can I ask? it's been a while since I've encouraged you If you are a new listener to the show, or even if you've been around a while, but you have never paused. At this moment, when I have said, the best compliment that you could ever give me is to give a rating, ideally five stars on Apple Podcasts, and leave an actual review. Your words don't only mean to me, the world, to me and my team. We all read them and we celebrate them every single week when new reviews come in, but it also is a huge indicator for other people of whether or not this is worth their time. So if you think that other entrepreneurs, other people who have big hearts that are ready to be also courageous in sharing their message. If you would be so kind could you take just two minutes today and leave a review, it would mean the world All right. Friend, i will see you again on next week's episode. Thanks for listening to another episode of the hint of hassle podcast.

Speaker 1: 40:56

If you're in a season of hustle, consider this the permission slip. You didn't need to take a beat. Go on a walk stretch, call a friend, go reheat that coffee for the fourth time and actually drink it. Because those big dreams you're chasing, they require the best version of you. And if those goals include expanding your audience, establishing your industry credibility and selling your premium price programs, the best way to tackle this is through speaking. Your voice is your best brand asset. We'll teach you how to use it as a marketing tool. Head on over to the speaker codecom, forward slash, start and I'll see you there.