From Self-Doubt to Self-Made – A Conversation with Jill Stanton

Are you ready for a mind shift that could change your life?

Join us in today’s episode as we do a throwback to my interview with the incredible Jill Stanton of The Wealthy Course Creator duo and The Millionaire Girls Club.

Get ready for a deep dive into the power of our thoughts, how they can either uplift us or pull us down and the crucial role of mindset to reach our goals.

Jill offers insight into how to recognize these negative thought spirals that often hold us back—interrupt them and then redirect our thoughts towards growth and positivity giving us the ability to see life's challenges from a fresh perspective.

Tune in and ignite your mind with this transformative conversation and learn how to replace fear, self-doubt and disempowering beliefs by embracing one’s vulnerability and switching that default mode of worrying to being willing.

In this podcast interview, Jill shares:

• Her struggle of self-doubt, how her past experience shaped her beliefs and behavior and how she stays future focused 
• The importance of choosing thoughts and beliefs to catch oneself when spiraling into negative or disempowering thoughts
• The power of asking better questions to redirect one’s focus and perspective
• The strength that comes from embracing vulnerability and being unapologetically you
• Switching to impact goals instead of income goals (think of the people you’re meant to serve!)
• And of course, how she approaches speaking on a stage

Quick note: this episode originally aired two years ago, so a few things mentioned in the episode are out of date (like the name of BOTH our programs, but the message is TIMELESS).

EPISODE  SHOW NOTES👇
https://heathersager.com/episode206/

Chapters

• 0:00 Switching From Worrying to Being Willing
• 9:03 Shifting From Negativity to Empowerment
• 15:39 Recognizing and Correcting Negative Thought Patterns
• 21:11 Control Thoughts, Grow
• 26:10 Shifting Perspectives on Life's Challenges
• 34:40 Shifting From Negative to Positive Thinking
• 38:31 Overcoming Fear and Becoming Confident
• 46:18 Uncovering Stories and Empowering Change
• 50:34 Entrepreneurship and Impactful Branding
• 55:33 Promoting Speaking Skills and Celebrating 100th Episode

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Sometimes we just have to switch from worrying to being willing. It can be that slight of a shift. How many of us, however, how many people listening right now, can jive with I just hope this works out. Or what if I lose money? Or what if it fails? Or what if it doesn't work? Or what will people think of me if? Or what if I get canceled? Or what?

Speaker 1: 0:23

all the nonsense that we deal with as entrepreneurs, Like what happens if I hire VA and she goes to me? What happens if you know what if we just switched that default mode of worrying to being willing to do what it takes to get the results, create the life and build the kind of business you want? It's just such a subtle tweak, but it really just takes you stepping into a place of like being conscious around, catching those disempowering beliefs, or catching the disempowering things you say about yourself, or catching those low vibe thoughts and canceling them in the moment and then replacing them or correcting them with something you really want to believe, Something that is in support of where you want to go, everything you want to create, everything you want to have, everything you want to experience.

Speaker 2: 1:13

This is the podcast for the entrepreneur who wants to make a big impact, who doesn't shy away from hard work but also wants to enjoy life along the way. Hi, i'm Heather Sager, former executive turned entrepreneur, and I've spent the last 20 years working with premium brands on sales, marketing and communication, and I've learned that when you become a magnet with your message, you only need a hint of hustle to achieve your goals. Get ready to be inspired and ignited each week with tangible strategies on sales, speaking, marketing and so much more. This is the hint of hustle podcast. Let's go. All right, friends, Welcome back to another episode of the Heather Sager show. I am thrilled to introduce you for episode 100. We have a special guest. Welcome. Welcome, jill Stanton to the show.

Speaker 1: 2:11

Hello, thank you so much. If I knew this was going to be episode 100, i definitely would have done my hair and I definitely would have worn something cuter. But like pretend, like putting a party emoji over my face or make me the red dancing girl, and that's how I figure out how to do that.

Speaker 2: 2:26

But I think the time it would take me to figure out how to, we can do that in post production. but I will say I'm already so excited I'm taking off my sweater because I need full arms for today.

Speaker 2: 2:38

This is so good And I love the fact that you don't need to do your hair. You get to wear that scrunchie situation, because we're talking about showing up consistently, even when we don't want to, and bringing our full selves online, like it or not. We're just going to have like a fun conversation about what it means I think specifically to be a woman figure, if that means anything in the online space. So, for those who might not be familiar with you and your work and your company, screw the Nine to Five, can you share a little bit about yourself, like give the fun highlight reel that you wish other people would allow you to give on their episodes.

Speaker 1: 3:19

Oh man. Well, my husband always says I'm a talker, so stop me if it goes on too long. You're in good company on that one. I'm one half of Screw, the Nine to Five. My husband, josh, is the other half, and then I also have another brand called the Millionaire Girls Club. But with the Screw we help course creators and coaches who are under the $3,000 a month mark get their businesses crank and get their offers dialed in and get their business across $100,000 a year mark so that they can quit their jobs and never look back.

Speaker 1: 3:45

And that has taken a long time for us to really hone in, like if anyone here and I know you mentioned that your audience is, you know, within their first three years or so. My first three years, my first five years, really, if I'm being honest, like we started the screw in 2013. We had the idea for it for in 2012, but sad on it due to fear. So I'm sure people can vibe with that like not feeling ready yet, and so I would say, for minimum, the first three years it was just a cluster F of emotions and feelings and ugly crying and day drinking and throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks and amping up what does and cutting what doesn't. And so if anyone can ever vibe with that like, i hear you, i feel you, i know how it feels, and the one thing that really helped us get to where we are now and I know we're going to dive into it in a deeper way is like really starting to hone in the intergame right, like starting to use the voice we all have in our heads And any time I say this in our own course creators boot camp.

Speaker 1: 4:50

So I'm like who here thinks there's like two of you, right, and people are like no, like just want to me, and I'm like, but at that, when I asked you, that did like a voice inside your head be like what's she talking about? That's the voice I'm talking about, right, like the second little voice that just controls so much of what we do. Starting to learn how to master that and identify it and being able to catch it when it comes up. That really helped to catapult us forward. So some of the highlights that I wish people would ask me about I started my first video or online TV show in the days of MySpace 2006, when you could still erase things off the internet. Thank God, because I built it around like being the sex in the city meets the view for women in their 20s, and I would die if any of that stuff was still out there.

Speaker 2: 5:42

Now, like I, has to come out into the world. Like that has to be. You have to find one and you can choose which one, but that has to make its way into this world, i would be like, not TV situation, Oh God the title. Look how far I've come.

Speaker 1: 6:01

We'll just say I had a lot of fun in my 20s and I talked about it on a video show and I'm very glad that I could erase it. So I also met my husband on a blind date That's another thing I wish people would know And I introduced my sister to his best friend and they are now married And so we've got this little fairytale situation going on. So just random facts. I'm about to move to the Caymans. So just a lot of random facts that I wish other people would ask about that have nothing to do with our journey. I love the random facts.

Speaker 2: 6:32

Okay so, random facts not necessarily random, but what do you think about right now? So time of this recording. We're recording in May. This is going to come out in June. What is one or two of the things that you're most excited about? like looking ahead right now in life and business 100% our move to the Cayman Islands.

Speaker 1: 6:51

It came about in such a I said to Josh the other day that is the bigger other than my son which I had a very, i believe. It was like the universe working through me, which sounds so woo, but I could share that story if we want to do, but it really felt like a universe wink for him coming into my life. This is the second biggest thing, like the most obvious universe wink I've ever had in my life, where it's like, oh my God, that was the universe like directing our life, because for years we were trying to move down here where we are right now in Puerto Rico. We have so many good friends here, like our families here. We've been coming here for three years like waiting to get in, and then COVID obviously closed immigration in the US and I'm Canadian, josh is Australian, and so we've never been able to get in And so we came down in 2021 and we're like we'll just wait it out. Surely they'll open it sooner than later, but it's still not open.

Speaker 1: 7:43

And anyways, josh met this chick on a hike here And she was like oh, why are you in Puerto Rico? You're Australian. And he's like well, me and my wife are trying to move here And she's like, why would you move to Puerto Rico when you can move to the Cayman Islands? It's way easier, it's way better and a 0% tax. And we're like what? And that sent us down the rabbit hole which just, i don't know, it's just brought in so much magic.

Speaker 1: 8:07

So the thing I'm the most excited about is our Cayman Islands move, getting my son set up in like a regular routine. We've been traveling so much that we don't have a home base, which is nice in its own way because we're out of Canada and the lockdowns and we're like carving our own path. But also he's like three. He has to play with friends every day, like I want that for him as well And I very much want to see what we can make happen in a zero tax country. So I'm very excited for that. And then, business wise, i'm very excited about my retreats for Millionaire Girls Club My first one is next March And then for the screw. I'm very excited about these. We host these course creator accelerators that are just I, just we love them so much. They just get our peeps such great results and successes And it's just really cool to witness and be a part of, and we have plans to go even bigger. So those are two things I'm really really, really excited about, okay.

Speaker 2: 9:03

This is the. I love this. This is a talker.

Speaker 1: 9:06

I love, i love your talker. I'm a talker too, my episodes are never short.

Speaker 2: 9:09

Everyone knows it, i. So here's. Here's what I love This is one of my favorite parts about having conversations is you can always tell when people are excited about things. I mean, this is the entrepreneurial way When you have an idea, when you're excited about something, you can't shut up about it Like you just keep talking and you'll tell everyone. And that's what we do as entrepreneurs. And I always say, like if, as an entrepreneur, if someone is not excited and talking about the possibility around what they're building, but instead they're talking about what's not working and what's wrong with it and why they can't do it, like that narrative, you can tell who's going to figure it out and who's not going to figure it out. So this was one of the things that instantly attracted me to you was your ability to stay future focused and positive focused and not really allow for that mental inner crap of negativity. That happens in is a discussion a lot, yeah, so talk a little bit about that. Has that always come naturally to you or did you used to be a negative Nancy?

Speaker 1: 10:15

Not negative, just disempowered, like I wasn't aware how much of a victim I was being. Like. I wasn't aware of how much I would complain or blame outside circumstances or justify why we didn't have the results or the momentum or the savings or the team or the opportunities or, you know, whatever the habits, whatever it was, i would justify why that wasn't the case and make it like external. And it was actually like truly in 2018, right before I had my son, when I first read my first like mindset book dollars flow to me easily by Richard Dots And it was like the domino for me And I started like really trying to get clear on, or starting to notice and observe the thoughts I was saying and the things that were the thoughts I was thinking, things that were saying right, because so often we say things that are just so default and so automatic for us and so freaking disempowered. Right, like a lot of people email back off our emails or you know they DM me on IG and whatever, and they're like you know I hope I'll be able to get to this or something like that And I'm like you can't like just switch the hope to like I'm committed to right. Sometimes we just have to switch from like being, from worrying, to being willing, right. Like it can be that slight of a shift. Like how many of us have ever, how many people listening right now can jive with? like I just hope this works out, or what if I lose money? or what if it fails? or what if it doesn't work? or what will people think of me if? or what if I get canceled, or what you know all the nonsense that we deal with as entrepreneurs, like what happens if I hire VA and she goes to me. What happens if you know what if we just switched that default mode of worrying to being willing to do what it takes to get the results, create the life and build the kind of business you want.

Speaker 1: 12:08

It's just such a subtle tweak but it really just takes you stepping into a place of like being conscious around, catching those disempowering beliefs, or catching the disempowering things you say about yourself, or catching those low vibe thoughts and cancelling them in the moment and then replacing them or correcting them with something you really want to believe, something that is in support of where you want to go, everything you want to create, everything you want to have, everything you want to experience, and so I always try to start there, because I did use to complain a lot and I did use to just like kind of be a dick.

Speaker 1: 12:38

I was just like you know, this sucks and I wish our team would do this and I was like such a blamer and looking back it was just so freaking obnoxious I'm sure to listen to. I'm like, oh my God, i would have been like yo if it was me listening to me, but not like it wasn't me. I'd be like can you get your shit together already? like you're so annoying to listen to how much I would complain. So yeah, that was a big one that I had to upgrade.

Speaker 2: 13:09

I feel you on that one. Like you said that I have to upgrade, i think I don't. I live in this constant state where I always say I should be both embarrassed and proud of who I was a year ago, five years ago, and like because we always should be constantly evolving, right where I like cringe. Sometimes I think about like my videos a year ago or my mindset a year ago, where I'm like cringe, but I'm also proud because I know that I was like doing my best and like working towards it. So I was living that same, that same like tandem, and I always tell people, especially when we're working on them, getting more confident on video, i'm like you should be laughing at your videos from a year ago. If, like at the time, be proud. Be proud that you did it. But if you are not growing both from how you articulate yourself but I also think this conversation here on how you're thinking and problem solving if you are not like constantly transforming, you're not going to achieve the goals that you want to achieve. So let me talk about this. So we're, on the same time, like my youngest son. He was also born in 2018. And that was a big year for me of when I was like I'm leaving the job and I'm burning the bridges, as they say jump out, here we go, like shed everything, including the baby, like weigh all the stuff out.

Speaker 2: 14:24

When you talk about this idea of shifting the worry to the willing, like I love that phrasing. I think a lot of times people hear us cover these kinds of things like oh, it sounds so simple, just catch it. And then we get into the shit that is business and in life, and then we forget and later we're like damn it, we were supposed to do this. Or oh, i missed it again. So can we get geeky for a second? because I know you do things really tangibly on your podcast and just in your work and like here's what to do. Can you give us some like some meet around? how can someone stop shifting from they know they should do that or they know like yes, we're supposed to do those things, but how do we make it practical and the day to day crap that happens in life and business.

Speaker 1: 15:10

I think it starts with awareness, right, like awareness is the first domino to any level of change, and you can't change what you don't acknowledge. Thanks Dr Phil, who busted that out in like the early 2000s, and it's stuck with me ever since. But it really does start there and look it's. It's been a muscle for me that I've had to grow since or build or get more consistent with since 2018, and I don't always get it right, but here's a few things that work for me. One is like noticing where or when you start to spiral, right. So do you have anything physiologically that comes up for you? for me, like my breath gets shorter, right, i breathe really shallow and I know I like clench my shoulders or my shoulders raise and I'm just like everything's great, everything's great guys, you know, but I like hold my tension there or my like my freakouts happen in my chest and in my shoulder. So I've started noticing, like when I'm spiraling in my thoughts, i'll notice my breath is short and I I've trained myself to view that as my body is alarm system letting me know my thoughts are off. So when I catch myself in shallow breathing or my shoulders or clench or whatever it is, or my mind is spiraling right, like how many of us have been in those thoughts spirals where it's like what if this doesn't work? what happens? no one buys. What happens if I get made fun of? what happens if I lose money? what happens if my husband's mad at me? what happens if a bubble? you know, like we just go down these thought spirals that just like pick up so quickly. It's hard to like turn a corner with them when you notice yourself, in that, that's your first chance to catch it right, just noticing like, oh, i'm in a thought spiral, right, and that you'll be so proud of yourself the first time you you notice it right and then just start getting better and better at it. It doesn't happen right away. It very much is because, look, you're disrupting you default thinking from over however many decades, like of course, it's going to take a minute for you to get it Right. So it's just about making it a habit to check in with yourself. What was I just thinking there? Or how was I thinking Right? Was I focused on problems? Was I focused on complaining? Was I focused on judging? Was I focused on worrying about money? What was it for me? Start catching it And then if you're a weirdo like me, like I, have two phrases I always go to.

Speaker 1: 17:33

One is cancel. I will literally say it out loud. I'm so committed to it Now I've been doing it for three years. I sound like a weirdo because if I find myself out and about which sounds so Canadian out and about, and I find myself in that, i will just be like cancel, like just out loud by myself, cancel. Or if I'm in a real one, i will sit like a real strong one. I'll sit there in a and like cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel, cancel. Until I just interrupt the thought, like I just I'm very aware how destructive some of these thought patterns can be And so I'm committed to canceling them. And then, once you've canceled it, you just simply correct it. What do you want to believe, right? So you caught the thought in the middle of it, you canceled it. If you're a weirdo like me, you'll say cancel out loud. Or another one is I don't think that way anymore, like that's not how I think anymore. I just like tell myself that's not how I think anymore. And then you'll.

Speaker 1: 18:27

The third step, the final step, is to correct it with what you want to believe. Everything's working out for me. I'm the type of chick who gets everything she wants. I'm right on track. I expect magic. You know I'm doing the best that I can. I'm committed to growing this business every day and in every way. I'm getting better and better. I'm building skills. I'm on the journey to creating wealth, like whatever it is for you right Like. I'm becoming more confident. I'm becoming better at this. I'm, you know, i've got my first customer, whatever it's going to be. It's just like these little reminders that help you consciously correct the thoughts you want to think and you replace them with things that are empowering and in alignment with where you want to go, who you want to be and what you want to experience.

Speaker 2: 19:11

Yes, okay, i love, i love this. You use, okay, use the phrase cancel and then correct. It reminds me of a similar process that I do. I like I say release, so release and release and then replace. So we have like very similar, similar things there. I had this. Okay, i'm going to have a mom moment here.

Speaker 2: 19:30

I use that analogy using our toddler children. Here's what I envision, because I think what happens to a lot of people is we study and we learn and we're like, oh yeah, all this sounds good And then we just expect it to happen, because we've read about it And maybe we write down some affirmations that we do when we're at our best drinking our morning coffee. But that's it And what I like to think about. So recently my son he goes to preschool and he's at this like daycare that they transitioned what's called a quote unquote baby toddler house. So he's been there since he was four months and then they're supposed to then transition to a preschool, but they've decided to transition this daycare of the babies and toddlers into the preschool.

Speaker 2: 20:10

So what's fascinating is my older son, when he was like three, he started in a preschool and he like instantly learned how to behave because there were older kids there, my younger son, who is quite the terror. They're like all like trying to figure out their lives. So I'm just imagining, like imagine for a moment that you as an adult are all of a sudden responsible for 18, three year olds And you like walk in and you're supposed to like get them to sit at a table and feed lunch. I honest moment, that's like my worst nightmare.

Speaker 1: 20:42

I don't know Literally, that's other people's children.

Speaker 2: 20:46

No. So like, imagine, like of course they're going to run like crazy, right? You're constantly going to be like chasing after a little Johnny and and whoever, emery, or trying to get everyone to come back, and you're constantly corralling. But over time, as you start giving directives to these kids, putting rules in place, like reinforcing what they're supposed to do, over time they're going to fall in line and you're going to have less of the craziness happening.

Speaker 2: 21:11

And I think about our thoughts in our brains. We think that they're just supposed to fall in line because we've like established the rules or we've said this is how we think now, or we've learned how to do it, but we haven't like it's like a constant. It's like with the toddler you constantly have to tell the child I tell your thoughts, this is what we do now, this is how we behave, like when you had said that phrase this is not how we think anymore. It's such a simple thing And I always laugh because people who don't do a lot of personal development work they're like this sounds stupid. I would not say that to myself. Do you want to have better thoughts? Like, do you want to upgrade your thinking? Do you want to get like? you have to speak to your thoughts like that, because our thoughts are like the crazy toddlers, like they will run amok unless you create some boundaries and teach your thoughts how to behave. I that's probably the weirdest analogy that you've experienced on a podcast.

Speaker 1: 22:10

Your toddler thoughts will make you scream into a pillow and want to drink extra wine. Yes, they will make you cry.

Speaker 2: 22:18

It's like you're in quarantine with them, which brought a lot of other things, but they're always there And until we tell our like this sounds so weird, until we tell ourselves what to think differently, we're going to continue into that spiral. I agree, oh, my goodness Big time, big time.

Speaker 1: 22:36

And not making it mean anything bad if you don't catch it at first, right. Or if you go, if you're like, oh shoot, i didn't catch it, oh, i haven't changed yet, oh, i must not be good at it, no, no, no, that right, there is exactly what we're talking about, like even making it bad or, you know, low vibe, or making you not smart or not able to do it or not you know whatever. Committed enough, even that is a low vibe thought that you can catch and cancel.

Speaker 2: 23:04

It's. I think it's. It's so important that we constantly give ourselves grace while expecting more from ourselves. Like those are two, two things that don't. They don't feel aligned, but they're perfectly aligned. Like you can expect more from yourselves and offer yourself grace As long as your long, as you're in motion. It's like I don't care if you took one baby step today, or like you ran a mile, like as long as you're moving forward and you're taking corrective action. That, to me, is the priority. But I think you're spot on that.

Speaker 2: 23:33

When we have this new idea, let's say this somebody listens to this show and they're like OK, i'm going to upgrade my thinking, ok, narrative, i don't think that it a more cancel, cancel, replace. And then they have like a disaster in their business and react It. Our old habits come in right Where it's like it's not working, like I don't know Totally. Do you still have moments where you beat yourself up? or maybe you you probably don't use that term, but what do you do when you find yourself spinning, like, does it still happen? I know you probably catch yourself, but how? how is that shifted for you in the last few years? I've more.

Speaker 1: 24:10

I've more so shifted it to like what is this trying to show us, or how is this happening for us? versus like this is a problem that can't be fixed, or this is happening to us Or we aren't in control. Everything like. I am a true believer that everything is in service, and that's that triggers a lot of people when I say that, because they're like well, how is it in service for me to have this happen, or grow up this way, or blah, blah, whatever it is right. But I think it all comes down to responsibility, and by that I mean response ability, your ability to choose your response right. How you react in that moment, the thoughts you think, the actions you take, the words you say, how you show up, how you think about problems, how you look for solutions. Right, your responsibility is everything in this whole business space, because you are creating the uncreated And therefore you're going to be in a place of discomfort a lot of the time. And if you're not in discomfort, then it probably means you're too comfortable, right, like, because the most successful people I know are constantly leaning into discomfort. Right, they're constantly looking for ways to grow, they're constantly pushing their edges, they're constantly looking for if things are going too good for a while, like what's going wrong here Or not what's wrong? but like where could we push things more? What could we try? What could we test? What could we add in? Who could we bring onto the team? Like they're always looking to expand and to grow And that doesn't always come from just like being reactive and thinking it's all happening to you and acting like a victim and blaming You know, it comes from this growth mindset of like I'm the creator of everything I experienced And so clearly I had some sort of thought pattern, i took some sort of action, i put something out there that brought this into my experience right now And therefore I need to determine, like how do I want to move forward with this?

Speaker 1: 26:10

And also, on that note, i also think that when something bad happens, people think that that's the way it's going to be and that's how it is, and like I can't change this. But if you could zoom out, you would probably see that it's working out even better for you. You're just in it too much, so you have no perspective, you have no bird's eye view, and so you think that it's the end of the world, when really it might just be a redirection.

Speaker 2: 26:34

Oh my gosh, that's so good.

Speaker 2: 26:36

It's so good. It's an example of how much our thought processes can change over time. We were talking about just the journey of 2018 around how you were thinking to just now, your automatic response when you think through things. It's a very different approach And I think it's easy for somebody to dismiss it and be like, oh, that's too weird, or oh, that's too much work for me, or I don't know, like I can't change, or oh, i have this scenario And I think asking ourselves better questions and it's just some of the simple ones that you gave today, asking better questions is just gonna shift what you're focused on in that moment.

Speaker 1: 27:13

And I think just, even if you could even just start with how is this happening for me? not to me? Like even that would help you look for, would help you see things in a new light. Yeah, Like, how might this be happening for me? For example, I have a sorry go ahead.

Speaker 2: 27:30

Well, I was gonna say when you had talked about how some people get kind of pissed about that idea around, like, oh, but this happened. I will tell you've had that. I was totally one of those people, Even a year ago, like I still struggled when people would use that phrase. How could this be happening for me? Cause I often talk about and this is not a like whose life is worst thing. I hate it when people start comparing their struggles against other people. I think we all have our own struggles and we have to figure out how we handle those. But I talk openly all the time around how, when I was a teen, my mom had cancer and she died right before my 18th birthday. I talk about that. So very instrument, thank you. Very like instrumental to what I like refer to as my like signature story is around. How that moment well, of course, I would never want it on anyone else and nor would I like wish that my mom. I'm not happy that she died, but the fact is she did.

Speaker 2: 28:25

And the how I navigated through it. it is directly correlated to who I am today and how I talk about myself and my business. I have a story around how we created a nonprofit in her name and how I was chosen as the spokesperson for this organization, and before then I was really shy, but that drove me to be a person who would speak in the spotlight because there was a reason to. And I look back and now it's really interesting because going back a year ago, i didn't talk about that story in that way, but now, anytime anyone hears me on a webinar or on any of my content and I talk about that story. it's a really pivotal moment because I realized that that moment taught me the difference between some people seek the spotlight and others are called into it.

Speaker 2: 29:10

And that was the moment where I was called into spotlight, saying when something's important enough, you step up, and that was a click for me of going okay, that is an example of no, my mom didn't die so that I become a public speaker, like that's preposterous. nobody's saying that, but the fact that my mom died and then I had an experience around it to be able to learn skills, to build resiliency, to become far more independent and all these other beautiful things that came from it. that in spite of that thing happening, holy shit, i grew And I would not be the kind of person I am today, doing the kinds of things I am today, had that not been my reaction or response to that situation. So for anyone listening, i'm going like, oh no, i don't think things happen to be like ha ha, i'm gonna teach you this lesson. it's life is shitty, shitty. things are gonna happen. we choose what happens next. That's where the story begins.

Speaker 1: 30:09

So a few things and I definitely want to come back to life as shitty, but guaranteed your mom, like, she's probably so proud that you use that experience for like to better improve your life. Right, like after you healed not that I'm sure my mom's still with me, so I'm not sure if you ever heal from that kind of thing, but I'm sure she's really proud and really grateful that you use that experience to fuel your life forward. You did important work through nonprofits and now you are out there and changing lives and making impacts and making a dent in the world. Like I'm sure she's way happier or way more proud or way more grateful or way more appreciative of you using that to positively fuel your life rather than getting stuck in a repetitive cycle of maybe depression or feeling blue or whatever. It is right, which brings me to the whole life is shitty thing. Life isn't shitty, life is contrast. Right, it's good and bad. It's shitty and great. It's up and down, spicy and mild, it's hot and cold, hard and easy. Right, it's good, it's exhilarating and excruciating, it's both, and it's the meaning we assign to it that gives it that feeling, because life in itself, like as a whole, is neutral. Right, like the world going on as it is is neutral. It's the meaning we assign to it, the story we give to it that makes it shitty or great, right, shitty or spectacular, if you wanna use two Ss.

Speaker 1: 31:42

And I think that piece also is something entrepreneurs need to hear, because when you're in a loop of it just feeling shitty, well it's really easy to get out of, or it's really hard to get out of that because it reinforces it right Cause you're in that belief cycle. So you're like business is hard, business is hard. I can't make money, i don't know how to do this. This never works. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I'm losing money. Everyone else is why is it so easy for them? Why does she get this experience? Why does he have that team? Why does her launches do that?

Speaker 1: 32:16

Well, we get in this loop of looking outside of ourselves or comparing ourselves. And I'm not saying you're never not to compare yourself, because that's always gonna happen, for sure. But what I am saying is to not make those comparisons real And to realize that when you are or not make those comparisons true is really what I mean there. Not taking it in and being like this is capital T truth for me. And when we are in those thought spirals, all you're doing is, essentially, your mind is in, it has so much momentum, it's just calling up supporting thoughts which just tack onto each other and it stacks this momentum and that's why it feels so hard to get out of it.

Speaker 1: 32:54

But even going back to that, if you can just say, if you catch yourself in that, that's where a perfect, out loud cancel will work wonders for you, because it'll allow you to realize, oh my God, i was in one of those low vibe thought spirals and now I can replace it, and that's how you start changing it, right. So maybe even coming back to like, oh no, business isn't shitty or business isn't hard, business is contrast, and it can just as easily be exciting. Right, it can be excruciating in this moment, but I can also choose to see it as like exciting, like wow, i can't even imagine the skills I'm learning right now, or the emotional resiliency I'm learning right now, or the leadership skills I'm learning right now that are gonna fuel me as I get to this point in my business, right, cause there's always ways to turn it around. It's just the meaning we're giving to it, and so that's why I wanted to touch on that as well, because I love that.

Speaker 2: 33:46

I love that.

Speaker 2: 33:47

I love that. I love the fact you called out like it's not that it's shitty, like it is. We assign the meaning to things. There is good and bad. Okay, weird example I okay, i would be a terrible movie critic, like terrible, because I watched movies and I'm like, oh it's funny, like, oh it's good, like, and people are like that was terrible. I could watch the same movie as someone else and they would think it's the worst thing ever and I thought it was great. And I think that's an example of everything.

Speaker 2: 34:14

Like standing with books. I'm a geek, i read a lot of books. I'm sure you did too. I like, and I always look at the book reviews cause I'm curious, is my take, this is so dumb in alignment with, like, the star rating on Goodreads. And I look and then I'm always drawn to the one stars. I'm like what is what? why? why was it so terrible for you And for me?

Speaker 2: 34:34

I'm always like four stars, five stars, four stars, five stars, and I think it goes back to we.

Speaker 2: 34:40

I love how you said like when you're in a like and a disempowering thought pattern, you keep finding more reasons to make that true and you keep going further and further and further, further down, but on the opposite, is when you are thinking empowering thoughts, that you're in control, you choose your meeting, you find the opportunity, you keep looking for more of that.

Speaker 2: 34:57

So you're on the up and up and up and up and I think we have to be aware sometimes that when we are going like if we are in a self-destructive mode or we are thinking about negative things or things not working, just that awareness around like this is feeling really hard. Is it because I keep finding the hardness in it? or could I like ask different questions and redirect? I had this vision of me going down a water slide that was like in a tube, or it's like the negative, like the negative thoughts or the disempowering thoughts as you called them. Like it's like you're stuck in that tube slide and you can't get out because you're just like down the water, it goes down the toilet, it goes.

Speaker 1: 35:37

I don't know it's weird for going in a weird space here, but It kind of reminds me of, like there's a saying the better it gets, the better it gets, and I think it can be true for the opposite as well the worse it gets, the worse it gets, because, as you are noticing how shit it is, well, you're bringing in more experiences to notice how shitty it is. Right, like, even when people think about money, right, and they think to themselves, like I wanna make a lot of money, i wanna make a lot of money, I wanna make a lot of money, i wanna make a lot of money, i wanna make a lot of money, and what they're not realizing is, like the pure focus there. While they think I'm like I wanna make a lot of money, yay, let's go make a lot of money. But even in that, like, in that little thing right there, i wanna make a lot of money, i wanna make a lot of money, the underlying focus of that is simply, i'm not making a lot of money, right, like there's not enough money there, which is why I wanna make more money, right. And so the universe is thinking, okay, cool, this trick wants to make a lot of money. Let's give her more experiences or circumstances to strengthen that wanting, not the having just the wanting, because the wanting is a perpetual state of not having right.

Speaker 1: 36:48

So when you are focused on the not having, well, what do you get? more of Circumstances of not having right, and it's like the worse it gets, the worse it gets, the more you observe how shit things are or how you know all this, how angry social media is like a 24 seven outrage of that, and that's what's causing you to like not show up and speak up and stand into the spotlight, step up into the spotlight, like, because you're like I'm gonna get called out, i'm gonna get called out. It's so shitty on here, it's so noisy, it's so crowded, it's so, you know, just really heartreaingД, really mean right now, really dark right now. Well, all you're gonna notice is more examples of that, because it's strengthening what you already believe.

Speaker 1: 37:33

So if you could just train yourself and yes, again, like we're going back to it, it takes time, like it just it's a muscle you build. That's not instant, which is why I think most people won't do it, but if you can get into a rhythm of it, a habit of it, whatever it is like even changing your phone screen, like I love changing my phone screen to helpful little reminders. My current one is people love to pay me Oh can you see it?

Speaker 2: 38:00

Yeah, yeah, I saw it. I love it. What's the picture?

Speaker 1: 38:03

People. It's a house in the Caymans.

Speaker 2: 38:06

Okay, I'm guessing it's that current house or dream house.

Speaker 1: 38:08

Okay, i love it. I love it. It's a goal for it to be a current house, but yeah, so just noticing the good things. So the better it gets, the better it gets. The more good things I observed, the more good things come into my life. And so training yourself to find that and really being okay with allowing it to be a habit that you strengthen over time.

Speaker 2: 38:28

Yeah, okay, i love this. I wrote, i write. I've been writing down some phrases that you say because they're so good and they're gonna make great little quotables for you. But the idea that the wanting to share the shit out of it, we're gonna share the shit out of this people, the wanting perpetuates the state of not having.

Speaker 1: 38:45

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 38:46

Like, and I really want, for anyone listening like, go back and like, hit the 30 second back button twice and go back and listen to that again, because I see this is where so many entrepreneurs, especially those who are struggling to hit whatever their next milestone is is the $10,000 mark or the 100, whatever that next mark is that, that idea of they want it, but they're perpetuating, perpetuating. Oh my gosh, that was hard. Points are hard, but they're not happy. Right, there's this like desire I want to be consistent on Facebook lives, i want to start a podcast, i want to be a guest speaker here, i want to book the whatever clients, i want these things. So they keep thinking, look, this is what I want, but they still don't have. And then they get frustrated. So they start seeking more training, more of this Like this is peace there. So let's talk specifically right now. Go ahead, go ahead. You have an idea.

Speaker 1: 39:40

Oh, i was just gonna say well, the thing that needs to switch there is like how wanting is a perpetual state of not having it. Just, they have to switch from wanting into doing, yeah right, like when you want a cheeseburger, you don't just sit there and be like God, a cheeseburger would be good, would be so good. You go get a cheeseburger, you grab your phone and order Uber Eats. You switch into a state of doing, and so it might not be learning more. It's taking the one action that would actually get you in the oh, in the freaking ring. I have to catch that one. Sorry about that.

Speaker 2: 40:14

It's good, you're good. We're already marketing this explicit we're good.

Speaker 1: 40:17

Okay, good, everything I do is explicit. Well, not everything mostly, but it's just making that one little tweak right. I want to be consistent with Facebook lives. Then be that.

Speaker 2: 40:30

Then be yeah, yeah, It's just like the head game.

Speaker 1: 40:33

That's simple. Yeah, it's the head game. Yeah, but that's lazy. Thinking truthfully, like, cause I deal with the same, or I serve the same audience as you, right, People on the come up And I do mindset coaching in our boot camps And I hear that all the time. Yeah, i know, but and I'm like no, no, no, be that, be it like the person who is consistent with Facebook lives, or the person who reaches out for guest podcasts or whatever the reason they get them or the reason they are consistent with it is because they are being the type of person who is consistent with it.

Speaker 1: 41:11

Yes, that's it. It's just like, yeah, the thoughts are gonna be there. Yeah, you're not gonna feel ready. Yeah, you're gonna be like oh my God, what if I forget What I'm gonna say? What if no one shows up? What if someone says no to me pitching myself? That will probably happen, and you're the type of person who's consistent with your Facebook lives. Yes, yep, and so you're still going to do that, because that is who you capital B or wait, no, i was gonna say that's who you be, but that doesn't make sense.

Speaker 2: 41:39

That's who you are, i'm sorry, the capital B is something totally different.

Speaker 1: 41:44

Yeah, i'm like no, no, i'm not, but I'm gonna be like B-ing but that's who you are.

Speaker 2: 41:50

Yeah, I got you My B. So one of the phrases I started adopting a few years ago that I always challenged my clients with is this idea okay, so you wanna become a speaker? replace that with I am a speaker. I am the kind of person who does Facebook lives. I am the kind of person who shows up even if I don't feel ready. Yes, I am the kind of person who does blank, And I think that is one of the best ways to switch from the planning mode to the action mode. You're talking about it? Yes, Okay. So if I was operating as the kind of person to this, if I am a person who goes live on Instagram, I am the kind of person who posts without like moling over it, Okay, so what's the action? So I love that piece there. I am curious. You've joked that you love to speak. You have no shyness with words. Have you always been so bold and confident of sharing your opinions and showing up on video?

Speaker 1: 42:44

No, and what's ironic is I actually get really scared about speaking in public, like doing speeches. Oh my God, i get so in my head like I'm a perpetual over-practicer. Over-practicer I practice for like weeks on end, so I actually get very much in my head about that. I am getting better at it because I'm a big believer in preparation and planning, but no, i wasn't always like this. I actually came, i was just out of Tony Robbins mastermind where there was 20 of us and Tony Robbins and it was quite possibly one of the coolest experiences hands down in my business, but possibly even my life, and I asked him about this brand. I'm starting a millionaire girl's club And I was saying I'm hosting retreats And you know, i went in with a tactical question. This is how, like in my head I was.

Speaker 1: 43:35

I went in with a tactical question for Tony Robbins. What was I thinking? Because it became all like pure emotional right And I said do you know how many exercises or strategies that I could use at my retreats to make women crack open and connect deeply? And he just was like it starts with you, like you have to be cracked open, you have to share vulnerably, you have to speak from your heart and blah, blah, blah. And I was saying, you know, as you're talking, mr Robbins, i'm realizing I was like I realized that that question comes from.

Speaker 1: 44:15

I had a 10 solid year 10, fuck Jill 10 solid years like stint of being mercilessly bullied. And Tony was like you are bullied, you were cracked open by some very intense people. But my whole point here is I've always or I Since I was about 25, before I was 25, i was very nervous to speak up because I had maybe even like, maybe that stopped at like 20. Because from grade five, like since I was 10, until I was like 1920, i was just mercilessly tortured by chicks, like locked in my car, barricaded by 40 chicks, like stuff spray painted on the walls, like really like very humiliating experiences that made me never want to speak up, never go to bat for myself, never be too loud, never be too noticeable, never be too standout-ish, right Like. I just wanted to be safe in those points and that was being quiet. So I haven't always been this spoken.

Speaker 1: 45:20

However, i feel like that 10 year experience was in service, because now I am much more myself, unapologetically, and much stronger and much more compassionate around what other women deal with and how lonely we can feel and how betrayed we can feel And just all these things that a lot of women go through. I don't know, have you ever had strained relationships with females? Yes, yeah, yes, and it can give you some deep wounding, right Like it can make you very tentative. So I haven't always been outspoken. I love that I am now, but even then I still get in my head of like was that too strong? Did I go over the top? Was I too like too much? How many of us have ever been told we're too much? I'm really just trying to work through that So I can continue to lean into this side of me who wasn't always who I kind of like stuffed down for a long time.

Speaker 2: 46:18

I'm so grateful for the fact that you just shared. but you just shared, i think, one I think a lot of people. it's like the online thing right, somebody would hear you when you're bold and you're confident and would never have guessed that you haven't always been this way. I think this is what a lot of people think online, like, oh, we just fall out of the womb, be in articulate and bold and curated with feeds And no, like there's a story there.

Speaker 2: 46:40

And one of the things I want to point out is when you were talking about the experience that happened to you as a kid, essentially into your adult life, you used that phrase earlier that sometimes life, like things happen for us, and I think a lot of times there's association that people think that we have to.

Speaker 2: 46:59

the for us has to be recognized in that moment. like something happens and then all of a sudden, we have to grow from it or make meaning from it. I think from the majority of us, we don't actually understand that things happen for us until way later, when we can then fully understand how to leverage it. So me talking about my mom, you talking about that experience, it is interesting that when we actually reflect back and start exploring some of those uncomfortable things around like well, why am I resisting vulnerability, or why am I avoiding this Or what is happening here? Asking those questions, we can get to the root of where it came from. Just to me it's fascinating And I'm hoping that, with what you just shared, that unlocks some ideas for people around how maybe they can be a little more courageous and how they show up and own their stories a bit more.

Speaker 1: 47:48

Or even like what stories are you still holding onto that were given to you, that no longer serve you? Right? Like one of my friends here I call him the Dosakis man. He's like one of the most interesting dudes I've ever met And he just like randomly said, you know, because my mom used to tell me I talk too much. And then his girlfriend said, like when we first got together he would always ask me like am I talking too much? Just stop me if I'm talking too much. But he was so young when she said that to him, like he was like five or something And he was just, you know, he developed that story or that label like I talk too much.

Speaker 1: 48:23

So where are you holding back or holding onto a story that no longer serves you and sure as shit is not going to serve you in entrepreneurship? right, because it's not like just average people can roll into entrepreneurship and all of a sudden create success. It's for the warriors, right? It's why average people stay average, because they won't do this kind of stuff. They won't go through the fire to come out the other side stronger, more confident skills. Like more skilled. Thinking differently about money, thinking differently about our past, our beliefs. Like acting differently, creating different relationships. Like we, entrepreneurs change the world. Entrepreneurs create the world. Because we are not average, because we do things most average people will not, we go through the pain of peeling back the beliefs or the behaviors that no longer serve us right And we step into an elevated, more empowered version of us. But that is going to irritate a lot of the preexisting relationships we might have in our life with people who are not willing to change or do not want to see us change, because it agitates the fact that they are not willing to make those changes right And so Totally true, totally true.

Speaker 1: 49:43

And it's why most people, when we're starting this out and I know you said this in the beginning and it made me think of this like when you're just starting your business, you're so excited you just want to talk about it to anyone, anyone and everyone who will listen. Right, and most of us, if you're like me, i would just get blank stares like, oh, sounds great, so you're going to work on the internet. You know what I mean? They don't get it And so they subtly undermine it because you are agitating this change that they are not willing to make. But they know that is there for them, and so that is painful for them, which is why they kind of try to keep us stuck, which is where we get all these disempowering beliefs and these stories that no longer serve us, and it's identifying those that will catapult you into a whole new level of yourself. So I don't even know where the fuckers going. I love it.

Speaker 2: 50:31

I'm sorry, i'm like all over the place, the whole level of yourself. You talked about the pain of peeling back. That is entrepreneurship, like yes, i think that is. I talk often. I name my program. It's called Speak Up to Level Up, because there's always a next level for each of us.

Speaker 2: 50:46

That speaking isn't a skill that you just master And then you're good. No, it's constant, and I think entrepreneurs show it's like that. We have to constantly be exploring how we're thinking, what we're doing, where we're going, who we're around, what we're fueling our mind with. It's a constant journey And with what you've shared today, i'm super excited. I love to surround myself with people that provoke my thinking and keep me focused around my priorities, how I want to think, how I want to act, the person I'm becoming, and I love this conversation. I know my audience is going to love it too. So, for respect of your time, let's land the plane here. I went so quick, though Yeah, i know I went by real, real fast, real fast. We're analogies and a lot of F-bombs, and I'm OK with it.

Speaker 1: 51:30

And a lot of tangents by Jill. I'm sorry, i love tapping for my favorite.

Speaker 2: 51:35

So you've mentioned a couple times you have your podcast, Millionaire Girls Club. You're doing your retreats. Can you share a little bit more about for the people who are listening? where can they continue to learn from you? Obviously, the podcast, But maybe just a little teaser. This retreat you threw out, Like, is that something that's available for people? Tell us, Tell us.

Speaker 1: 51:55

OK, so for the screw, which is, I think, much more aligned with the audience we're speaking to today. So that's for courses. Oh my gosh, I swear I can speak words Course creators and coaches who just really want to get their offers dialed in making money. So our podcast for that is called thescrewshowcom. Sounds like porn, but it's business, I promise.

Speaker 2: 52:17

That's where you're going to. We'll link to it to make sure you don't give an internet loop hole.

Speaker 1: 52:22

Yeah, thescrewshowcom, or just screw the 9 to 5. All spelt out, no numbers. Screw the 9 to 5.com. Same with IG. And then Millionaire Girls Club is for women who are already at the million dollar mark. So my retreats are for women who are making a million plus And they're luxury all-inclusive retreats. The first one's in Costa Rica. I am Vy excited about it. It's next, essentially late March, march 30 to April 3.

Speaker 2: 52:47

But yeah, love it.

Speaker 1: 52:48

I have Instagram for the Millionaire Girls Club, although I'm just going to be honest, i'm in a real love-hate relationship right now with Instagram, so I'm probably not posting that much. I'm craving a deep pause from social media right now, but thescrewshowcom has so much content And it's where we are 90% consistent with our publishing.

Speaker 2: 53:14

All right, we'll hang out with you over there. Last message for anyone who's listening, who's still fighting that battle around, showing up boldly with their brand Any parting words of inspiration, slash, kick in the ass to get them started.

Speaker 1: 53:29

I think where most people give up is that moment where you have to push through. Most people give up thinking I've been at this for like two years, i thought it would be easier than this, or I thought I'd be further ahead than I am now, and those moments are your sign to keep pushing, because most people will stop there. I thought it'd be easier than this. It was so much easier when I had a job. But we're not looking for easy, we're looking for impactful, memorable. This barrier to entry is like the ticket to a phenomenal life. So, yeah, it might not be easy, But holy hell, will it be memorable. And if you could start taking the focus off yourself and start putting it on the people you're meant to serve, a whole other world of abundance opens up for you.

Speaker 1: 54:25

I think that was one of mine and Josh's biggest breakthroughs was we always used to make it about ourselves How much money can we make? How big can our launches be? And then we started. We stopped setting income goals and started switching to impact goals. What if we could get 200 people onto this program and half of them minimum got results like making money with this process? What would that look like And how would we show up for them, what would we have to do to hit that impact goal, like, what procedures would they need, or what templates, or what systems or what support? All of that You switch it to the people you're here to serve And, i swear to God, a whole other level of acceleration happens.

Speaker 2: 55:05

Yes, that is in alignment with our whole conversation today around switching to more empowering thoughts. That in itself is a more empowering thought and question because it leads back to the whole point of what we're doing in the first place.

Speaker 1: 55:17

OK, i love it, and the byproduct of that is money. The byproduct of helping people is more money, so it ticks two boxes And we all love that.

Speaker 2: 55:27

We all love that. That's a good byproduct to have. Oh yeah, all right, jill, you're the best. Thank you so much for celebrating our 100th episode here on The Heather Sager Show. I couldn't have asked for a better conversation today. Thanks for joining us, it was such a treat.

Speaker 1: 55:43

Thank you so much. Thank you And congratulations to 100 episodes.

Speaker 2: 55:46

Thank you, thank you, and hey, my friends, if you could help me celebrate by be sure that you leave a review of the show, give Jill some love in that review today so that we can make sure this show gets in the years of more people, and we'll see you next week.

Speaker 2: 56:03

Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh. Thanks for listening to another episode of The Hint of Hustle podcast. If you're in the season of hustle, consider this the permission slip. You didn't need to take a beat. Go on a walk stretch, call a friend, go reheat that coffee for the fourth time and actually drink it. Because those big dreams you're chasing, they require the best version of you. And if those goals include expanding your audience, establishing your industry credibility and selling your premium price programs, the best way to tackle this is through speaking. Your voice is your best brand asset And we'll teach you how to use it as a marketing tool. Head on over to the speakercocom forward slash, start And I'll see you there. I think we'll be there again.