Want More Speaking Gigs? Rethink Your Approach

If you’ve been googling “where to find speaking gigs” trying to land more opportunities by pitching every event you come across, it’s probably feeling...exhausting.

And if you’re still hoping there’s a magical list that’ll land you a dozen dream stages overnight — I’ve got to be honest, that’s not how it works.

In this episode of The Ramble Refinery, I’ll show you why that approach rarely gets you what you’re actually after — and what to do instead.  

I’ve talked about this before on the show, but it’s time for a fresh take. A lot has changed, and I want you focused on what actually works now and not on the stuff that’s wasting your time.

You’ll hear:

• Why business owners are approaching speaking opportunities backwards 
• The two types of speaking business models (and why you need to know which one you're in)
• The importance of aligned stages, and why quality beats quantity when it comes to speaking 
• Where to look for the best opportunities  

My favorite pitching strategy that doesn’t feel clunky 

If you’re using speaking to grow your business whether it’s to attract more clients, build credibility, or get in front of the right people — this episode will help you rethink your approach so you’re spending energy on the right kinds of opportunities that will get you results (and not burning out chasing the wrong ones).

EPISODE  SHOW NOTES👇

https://heathersager.com/episode237

Transcript

Well, hey friend, welcome to another episode of the Ramble Refinery. I'm your host, Heather Sager. And today we're digging into one of the most asked topics, one of the most important topics, the hot topic that everyone is talking about when it comes to speaking. And that is, how do you find speaking opportunities?

I've covered this on the show before in different ways, but we need to do an updated 2025 version relevant to what's going on right now and what I see working. And more importantly, ass backwards approach people are one using and two searching for that it is like it's one not working or two leading to frustration and or opportunities that don't actually get you the results that you're after. So we're gonna go ahead and dive into it. We're gonna try to make this another power episode. I'm gonna try to keep this relatively short. Here I am recording at 8.50 on a Tuesday morning before this airs. This is my little pocket window where James takes the boys to school and little baby gets to ride in the car and have his like morning outing that he loves cramming while the house is quiet to knock this out for you. So let's just jump in and get into it. So if you are listening to my show, I know that you want to speak on more stages. whatever that looks like for you, maybe you want to book, like maybe you're like my accelerator students, that you want to book paid corporate speaking gigs, right? To have companies hire you to come out and do private trainings for them.

Maybe you are wanting to speak at more conferences in your industry or maybe in other industries to expand your influence, expand your reach and to get you in front of more people, whether those are paid or maybe they're not as well paid, but they're high return in terms of putting you in front of your ideal clients. That may be a goal for you. Maybe you're a coach or a service provider and you're actually using speaking more to drive leads and clients. So you're looking to guest speak in really aligned groups.

So whether that's a live mastermind event or guests speaking inside a curated membership, maybe you're looking to do more podcast interviews to expand your visibility. Whatever it looks like for you, I'm sure you have asked the question at one point or another here in recent past, how do you get on more stages? And maybe you've had the nuance question, right? Where you've lived a little bit and done a little bit and you're now asking the question,not just how I can get on stages, how can I get on more aligned stages? And that's the start of the right question because just getting on stage isn't necessarily going to get you the results you're after. So often I see entrepreneurs who are getting started with speaking, who are, or maybe have gotten started with speaking and now starting to get traction where they start saying yes to every opportunity. In fact, every essentially personal development and business guru that we've all followed at one point has said in the beginning, it's just about saying yes and getting as many doors open as possible. And while I believe to an extent that that is true and primarily because one, you're trying to open doors to build relationships and further your connections, but more importantly too, you're just trying to get the freaking reps in so that you can be competent and masterful with the skill. I think one of the biggest hurdles that most of you listening are struggling with right now is that you're good, but to get the level where you want to go, you need more reps so that you can geek out and become exceptional. Little things like transitions, little things around having like a thread that you plant the beginning of your talk and somehow seamlessly weave in throughout the talk and have this really beautiful tie back when you close. Those types of things.

They take intentional planning, the skill of being able to facilitate and land the point even when it's seemingly impromptu because you're reacting to an audience member. These are masterful facilitation and communication skills and they only come from the more that you practice. So for me, yes, you want to say yes to more opportunities. Most people think about that because they think more opportunities that I say yes to the more doors that'll open for me. And that honestly is just secondary. For me, it's like say yes to more opportunities so that you can grow your skills. Because if you actually wanna get results from speaking and those results could be getting paid, well, getting paid very well, right? It could be attracting leads, it could be being the one people invite to those big opportunities, you know, in our industry especially, the big stages that you see.

Those aren't people cold pitching them. Those are relationships. They are being curated and called upon by the host of the event. They're pulling in their network. They're pulling in experts that they trust their audience. They trust with their audience. So this idea that saying yes is all of a sudden gonna be this domino to like knock it down, that's not serving you as well as it could. Start thinking about these yeses as being building blocks of building your speaking skills. Now, you know, my feelings on this along the way, we don't just want experience for the sake of experience, right? This isn't just like running out and doing more reps so that you can have the experience. We want to use this as intentional practice. What are the specific skills we're building? How are we anchoring in the structure of our message further? How are we really making sure that we have the head nod effect happening in our talks pulling people in, they're nodding their heads that they're like, my gosh, this is exactly what I've been looking for. How are we gauging more of that? How are we effortlessly pulling in stories where people are leaning forward in their chairs, not even realizing that time has passed and they haven't checked their phone? How are we intentionally growing the skills of becoming that powerhouse speaker? That's what our mind needs to be focused on when we're saying yes to opportunities is what skills are we growing? But regardless of that side tangent, while we're building the skills, there also is this big looming question, okay, how do I actually book more stages? How do I actually book quality stages? And you're not gonna like my answer. I can give you the answer that other speaking coaches and visibility experts give you where they make it seem like there's this secret, secret that lists all the speaking opportunities that if only you had access to it or if only you can get your ass on the speaking circuit, then you would be in, then you would have the doors open for you, then you can build upon these opportunities. But friend, I am not gonna bullshit you. Whoever convinced you that there is some like coveted list of speaking opportunities and I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this, but I don't give a...

The people who even promote, I'm gonna send you a list of opportunities every single week in your inbox that you can pitch. I will stand and die on this hill. That is not going to serve you. Knowing where the speaking opportunities is not the fricking problem. It is not the problem. And we'll talk about what is the problem. But if you are like chasing some list of opportunities. If you're like, if only I knew what they wore, then I could book them. No, that's not, that's not, that's not it. And here's why. Okay, if you're listening to my show, I know that you are not trying to speak on stages because you're like, how can I earn as much money as possible? I've heard becoming a public speaker is the way to become a millionaire. People pay a shit ton of money for speakers. So I don't know why I have like a weird Southern accent right now, but I am going to book as many as I can. And it's like this idea of a get rich quick by getting your ass on stages. I know that's not you. I do know that you want speaking to be profitable, but I also know about you that you care about the quality of your work. You care about the people that you connect with and speak to. And if I were just straight up guessing, I would bet that you are not building a business solely around a professional speaking model. This is the unique thing about what I teach in my specific business. I don't work with professional full-time speakers, primarily because that's not my business model, nor do I have any desire to live my life on an airplane on stages and essentially work myself into another full-time job. But instead of one boss, which I used to have and speak on stages all the time, right? I would go on behalf of the company and speak everywhere. Instead of that one boss, as a professional speaker, you have a bajillion bosses. Every single event that you book, they've hired you. You're contracted out six months in advance, sometimes two years in advance, and you're putting it on the calendar and you're committed to that. And that really works for some people. The idea of knowing where your paychecks are coming from, months in advance, maybe a year in advance, and having those commitments on your calendar, for some people that is awesome. And if that's you, I applaud you. Also, you're gonna learn things from my show and from me, but that's not the business model that I'm in. That's not the business model that I teach. What I focus on for me personally, I enjoy having a lot of white space on my calendar.

I don't like having commitments on my calendar. So for me, in-person speaking events, being on my calendar every single week is not the life phase that I'm in. Now I say that with a grain of salt, it used to be my life season and down the road when my kids are older, it probably will be again, but right now that's not it. For me, my business model is around how do I generate money from yes, speaking, but also from other sources like my consulting, my coaching. my courses, my one-on-one work with clients. I do a lot of consulting for companies at a higher level. I don't talk about that really on the podcast or I don't really talk about that in my marketing because those are primarily referral-based. I'm marketing specifically to entrepreneurs and what we're talking about here on the podcast.

But my business model is more scalable. It's also more, it's more nuanced. I'm making my money more asynchronously than I am from speaking on stages. But for me, stages are an amplifier. Stages boost my credibility. Stages expand my reach for contacts. Stages get me in front of more of my ideal clients in a container where they are hearing me.

they grow their trust in me because the host has transferred that trust to them. And then I have such a damn good message and good at what I do. It invites the right people in to want to take that next step with me or to listen to my podcast or download a free resource or mention me to a friend at their next mastermind when that friend starts talking about wanting speaking to start paying off for them. You see how that works? So I know you know this because I've talked about this a lot, but people seem to forget what business model they're in, especially when we start throwing out ideas of public speaking. You have to understand there are two different business models for speaking, know which one you're playing in. Are you in the business model of where speaking is the product or are you in the business model where you're speaking for your products? Meaning you're using speaking as a catalyst to grow these other channels, your primary revenue sources come beyond speaking, what's happens beyond the stage.

just to make sure I'm like triple, quadruple being clear here, it still includes paid speaking. It's just that paid speaking is not the sole primary revenue driver. Okay, are we cool? Like we get that right? Do you understand? Okay, which business model are you in? If you're sticking with me, I'm gonna assume you're in that second category. You're a business owner with coaching, consulting, courses, some kind of information or services type products that that is the bulk of your revenue or you would like it to be the bulk of your revenue and speaking is a supplement to that. Okay, now that we're clear on that, let's go back to my comment around why those speaking lists that like list of gigs is probably not going to serve you. It comes down to two words, transformational versus transactional. And this one is gonna be a real zinger here, but.

Most of the businesses that I work with, right, in that second category that we're using speaking to expand our brand and expand our impact and get paid, of course, right? That goes without saying, but I'm gonna say it because some of you are like, but I wanna make money. Yeah, you should download my profitable and purposeful speaking guide. Like I literally talk about how do you turn those speaking opportunities paid or not into tangible revenue, into tangible outcomes for your business? How do you make speaking like move forward. So if you haven't grabbed that guide, make sure you grab it. We'll put the link in my show notes, but that is the like number one, even if you're established and already doing this, you'll pick up some specific tactics. I have seven core strategies that you can implement. Plus there's a list in the back of 23 little tactics that you can implement right away when you're doing speaking opportunities before, during, after. So go grab that. But what I see is that, okay, how do I explain this? Let me think about this for a second.

People who are using, in my opinion, speaking as their primary revenue source, a big thing that we're focused on is we're looking for the sale. We're looking to book the gig. So what happens is we need to start pitching gigs in order to get gigs, if speaking is the revenue model. I mean, the whole revenue source comes from speaking on stages.

So if you wanna speak on stages, you gotta find more stages, you gotta pitch more stages, you gotta be open to more rejections, and it's just a numbers game. Getting out in front of that, knowing what that looks like, pitching, pitching, pitching, pitching, getting your ass out there to get some traction, and then the speaking snowball can start working where people start rebooking you and referring you, but you gotta like work for it. And this is why people say yes to more opportunities to build your network, because you're hustling to get the stages because the stages are your revenue source. You get that? Okay.

Over on the other bucket, when we're talking about speaking as a fuel for your business, speaking as an amplifier for your business, we're not just chasing stages to chase stages. Remember that phrase I mentioned before, we're looking for aligned stages. Aligned stages means we're looking for the kind of people in the audience that we're going to be a good fit with. We are going to be a good match with.

Now, when I mentioned that idea of transactional versus transformative, here's what's fascinating to me. It's this like, ask backwards conundrum that I see so many people stuck in and it's, they want the transformational connections, AKA they want people in the audience to be like, yes, I love you. Where have you been all my life? I cannot wait to work for you. Your body of work is magical. I will follow you over the hill to the rest of all eternity. That's what, I mean, I know that's a little dramatic, right? But that's what we're looking for. We're looking for real, meaningful clients or relationships or referral sources on the backend, right? Transformational is what we're looking for. And that might be a little bit of a fluffy kind of dumb dumb word that's a little overused, but it's probably the best way to describe it here. We're looking for quality. We're not just looking for what I call one night stand relationships in marketing.

We're not just looking for someone to pay us a buck and move on. We're not really selling these digital products that all we have to do is convince people to need it and then we don't care what happens after. No, we actually care about our customers. Even if they're only paying us $9 in a monthly membership, we care about their success. We care about their experience. So what we're seeking is more of those transformational relationships, transformational outcomes for people. We want to see people succeed through our work, yes? Okay.

Well, the ass backwards conundrum that I see so many of you in is you're treating the stage and finding stages as a goddamn transaction. And it's the where the stage opportunities, how can I pitch the opportunities? How do I find the opportunities? Pitch, pitch, pitch, get my ass on stage. And we're treating it as the numbers game, which as I mentioned, there's an element of that when you're trying to build a full like time paid speaking business. And I'll just put this disclaimer, of course.

This is no slight on professional speakers. I love professional speakers. I've hired many of them. I've worked in that like realm of the industry. There are so many that do have a big heart and really true, like they want their people to be transformed from their message. But I have been in that role where I've hired like a million dollars worth of speakers in my career at my old company. Like literally, if you line up the bills of the revenue that or the expenses that I paid in speaker fees.

this like common thread through almost all of them, note, almost all of them, was the transformation ended the moment they left the stage. They didn't have anything for the audience after, maybe a book, right? That's usually the next step for pro speakers. Maybe they had like a free resource, but their business model was speaking and they didn't have the capacity or they didn't have the skills or the whatever, right? To have anything beyond that the stage opportunity that Catalyst was the talk. And when I was in that position as the head of events at my old company, I remember sitting there going, I love the experience on stage, but I'm left to deal with what happens after. These people in the audience are so excited about this idea, then what? I had to pick up the pieces, which was an instrumental reason why I'm so passionate on this other business model. A stage is just the start of the conversation. You, in your business, what you teach right now, you are in such a good fricking position because you can fit that role. Not only can you dazzle them on stage, as cheesy as that sounds, but you can help them beyond for the people who are raising their hand and saying, I want more, I want more. They're the people looking for that transformation. So what we have to do, as business owners who leverage speaking to grow, we have to be thinking transformation over transaction. If you are thinking, how many stages can I cold pitch? Here's the reality. You don't actually know the quality of the audience. You don't really know the host. So you don't actually know if this is going to be an aligned audience for you. In my opinion, having the strategy of can I just cold pitch the stages, while it might get you on stage, the question is, will it get you the outcomes you want? And sometimes the answer is yes. And if you do want to do more speaking, and especially maybe paid speaking, if that's a priority for you even in the second business model, doing some of that I think would be really helpful. But today I'm going to invite you to take a different approach. And that approach is for you focusing on expanding your network and building relationships. Remember how I said this is not going to be the answer that you want? Well, my friend, I'm not going to sell you this idea of a fast, quick pill. I'm not going to tell you that there I have a list of speaking opportunities that can get you on stage. I mean, I probably could. I've actually thought about this multiple times in my last seven years running the business. We should start a database. We should start a whatever, because that's what people want. And then I was reminded who the F I am, and I am not the coach to sell you on this idea that there is this quick, fast solution for you getting what you want. I am the skill building coach. I am for the person who knows what their goal is and knows that they're meant for something bigger and they understand to get where they wanna go, they can't just take the shortcut, they actually have to build the skill set. So one, they can get there, but two, they can grow in the process and expand their opportunities. 

So today, as we talk about what's required to book stages, relationships, relationships, relationships. And if you're sitting here thinking, Heather, I don't have any relationships that are gonna get my butt on stage, I hear you. And I'm gonna encourage you to think about two things. Number one, I want you to think about what are you not noticing right now? If you went through not just your top of mind who comes to mind in your network, if you were to go through your phone,in your contacts, which I don't know about you, but I have a bajillion people on my phone that I've totally forgot about. Phone contacts, if you were to go to your LinkedIn contacts, if you were to go through like your email archive, which I know these things seem really tedious, how annoying, but like if you went through and said, who might know someone, who might be in a role or a position that could give me more insight into what their company is looking for? Also wondering who like,do these people even know that you do speaking? I was listening to Mel Robbins book recently, The Let Them Theory, which side note, I have mixed feelings on that we'll get into another day. But one of the areas she was talking about was back when she was starting her speaking career, how the number one thing that other people told her she needed to do was start talking about her speaking if she wanted a book more speaking. And she resisted posting on social media to her friends and family for years because she was embarrassed about what other people would think or say about her choice to become a quote unquote public speaker. And there's a lot of truth in that. How many of you are resisting posting on your social media, like your personal Facebook page or wherever you're social with past colleagues or friends from high school or whatever, are you resisting saying, hey, this is what I'm doing now, or hey, I've been working on this thing and I'm wanting to help more people in this way?

Like if you ever hear of anyone who's looking for a speaker on this, or if you know anyone who's bringing speakers into their company or to their group, would you think of me or send them my way? Or here's a place to send them, or here's a link to my latest podcast interview, right? Maybe nothing will come from it immediately. But what we need to start doing is getting on the radar. Most of us like, my gosh, we want these speaking opportunities, but people in our real lives or our real network don't even know that we do speaking.

Maybe you've talked about it one time, but nobody's gonna remember that. They don't remember the one random post, the one random conversation, or maybe they didn't even see it because of the algorithms on social. So you need to be willing to talk about it. And it doesn't have to be a sales message. You can just share, hey, it's kind of like a scary adventure for me. Here's what I'm working on. Or hey, I realize I haven't actually shared one of the things I'm working on now and I'm trying to be more bold and brave, like reaching out to my network, like, here's what I'm working on. I would love to know what you're up to. Turn it into a conversation that the key is to move from transactional to transformational is we have to stop putting the pressure on every interaction we have with other people to try to get it to convert or to mean something tangible. We've started losing the heart of what networking and relationships are for. We need to work on building true connections with other people.

This is one of the reasons why I hate, I talk about this openly, modern day networking. It's one of the reasons why I kind of despise, not kind of despise, I absolutely despise and I do not accept coffee chats. Some of you love this and I love that for you, but for me, I hate it because I hate small talk. I also can smell it a mile away. Someone who schedules a quote unquote coffee chat with me, especially someone I haven't talked to in years or in months or ever,

they're looking for, can you open a door for me? How can we exchange tit for tat? This is why I don't do list swaps. This is why I don't do podcast swaps. It's why I don't do transactional relationships. If I'm gonna come in and serve your audience, I'm gonna serve your audience with no expectation that you're gonna do something for me. If you come into my audience, there's zero expectation that I need to do something for you because one, we might have different aligned audiences. Two, we might have different skillsets.

This is gonna be like a dick statement to make, but I might be a really strong speaker and you might not. And so it might not be a good match to bring you into my group until you build that skill a little bit. my gosh, I said that. Yeah, I'm not an asshole, but I know how to protect the quality of my audience. This is why we should not be treating relationships as transactions. If you do list bops and you do other things like good for you, sometimes I will determine that in a relationship of someone I'm talking to, it does make sense for us to both serve each other's audiences. But to go into this idea of like tit for tat, by the way, what does that expression even mean? You know, like, right? Like I just scratch your back, you scratch mine, whatever, any of those expressions. Like if we were approaching relationships as a transaction, how can you expect to actually get meaningful transformational opportunities from it?

So oftentimes I see people do these list swaps or do these transactional, hey, I scratch your back, you scratch mine, or you promote my thing, I promote yours. And then it doesn't really come from anything. Maybe people sign up for the webinar or download the freebie or come to the summit, but beyond that, then what? Versus if we focus on building meaningful relationships with people and whatever that looks like for you, we all build relationships in different ways, but building relationships to understand how people work, who they serve, what's unique about them. Think about this, like I think about my client Brenna, who I've talked about here recently that just spoke at Social Media Marketing World. Brenna, I was introduced to probably two, two and a half years ago through my friend, Emily Reagan. She's also one of my clients. She's a mutual really good friend of Brenna's. She talked about Brenna before and I started following Brenna does an event behind the launch that I participated in in January and finally spoke on, but she interviews people around, like it was really simple, private podcast series essentially. And it was really interesting. So I remember paying attention to that and just thinking, wow, she's really smart. I like really like her approach to marketing. And I quietly watched her for a while. Here and there, I reached out on Instagram and her and I kind of talked because we have that mutual connection. Emily had talked about both of us being like, you guys would really hit it off. You'd know each other. And we didn't force it. We just casually interacted. And then last spring when Brenna was launching her program, the pre-launch program, I reached out to her and I'm like, hey, I've been creeping you. I don't know that I actually need this program because I have been launching, but I have some questions and I want to see if it's a fit. And it was a fit. I joined it. I still haven't finished it, but I've taken things from it that I'm like, it's awesome. And then a couple of months later, she's, or a couple, let's see, in that fall. So yeah, months later, she had a speaking opportunity coming up. So it reciprocated back where she got my program and we helped her with an opportunity in the fall. And then it led to me helping her with social media marketing world.

Right? This is one relationship, but now it's one of those things that Brenna's program and Brenna's launch event, which is like way, way, with pre-launch, the behind the launch audio series that she does. I will promote those things for all of time because one, I know Brenna, but two, I madly respect the quality of her work. And I know she gets really incredible results for people said simpler. She's fricking legit.

so I can stand behind my recommendation. That to me is a quality relationship. The thing is, so many people are out there looking for quantity of relationships. The more yeses I get, the more networked I can get, the more opportunities. But it comes back to the really simple idea of quality over quantity is going to serve you better every damn day of the week. So in this specific situation around Brenna,

Brenna has now created in me a lifer where I would trust her to come guest speak in my program. Likewise, I'm going to guest speak in her program. We've talked about different ways for us to serve each other. Also, I know sure as hell that Brenna would recommend me to others who are looking for speakers. She's already recommended me to others who are looking for a speaking coach to help them with a big opportunity. They become referral partners and they become an advocate for you.

The thing about relationships though, as you know and probably hate is they are the long game. And if you're thinking like, I want relationships specifically for stages, we're kind of in that short-sighted piece, right? This is the beauty of that second business model that I serve, the business owner who leverages speaking for growth. It's not just about stages and speaking. It's as I mentioned with Brenna, it's also about collaborations and partnerships. It's also about referring to services and programs, relationships are far more rich as business owners. And so for us, what I want you thinking about, let's make this practical, because you're like, Heather, you said you're going to help me book more stage opportunities. Here's what I would think about. If you go through your existing network and you're like, literally don't know anyone, I'm going to challenge you on that, as I mentioned, look harder, start making it known that you're speaking, and start being more visible in your own existing network. But I guarantee you know someone that knows someone.

So reaching out, you don't have to pitch that person, but you can use what I call my adjacent pitch strategy saying, hey, I'm working on this new, like whatever talk, this new presentation, or I've been doing these kinds of presentations that help this kind of person with this kind of problem. Do you, like I know for a while you worked in this industry, do you by chance know of anyone who might be looking for a speaker or you know anyone experiencing this kind of problem? It's like you're pitching with clarity around who it is you serve, what you do.

but you're not saying, hey, do you wanna hire me? You're asking them, do you know someone? And remember, if this is the first time you're hearing this, let me make this really clear. The beautiful part about what I call the adjacent pitch is like you're pitching next to them, right? You're not putting that person in that awkward position to have to reject you or turn you down. You're giving them the like really easy out.

that's giving both of you grace. You don't feel like an ass hat for like being rejected or putting them on the spot like that girl you knew in high school that is like now pitching you to join her pampered chef party. And you're like, this is awkward. I have to like, I don't want to be a bitch to that girl, but hello, I'm not interested. We take that pressure off. So the adjacent pitch is a really great way to do that. They can either one of three results, They can either say, actually, no, nobody comes to mind. And if they're not an asshole, they'll be like, but I'll think of you.

Graceful, no, nobody feels like a jerk about that. Option two, they go, actually, you know, I knew somebody in XYZ industry or you know what, actually, I was talking to somebody a couple months ago about this exact thing. I'd be happy to connect to you or hey, here's your information to follow up or hey, let me reach out to them and see if they're interested, right? Someone comes to mind, that's wonderful. Option two, maybe something comes from it, maybe it doesn't, but you've planted the seed. Option three, they go, actually, we're looking for that kind of person in my company, or actually that might be good for my group. Beautiful. Adjacent pitch is the most brilliant strategy you can do with your own personal context so that you don't one, feel like an asshole, two, make someone else feel like an asshole or put anyone in an awkward situation. That's my go-to when it comes to pitching is start with the adjacent pitch. Now the key with that is you have to start with your like warmest people that know you first, start there. Then you can start branching out to more of your like other contacts in your network. But that's where we start first. Okay, now if we're if we've exhausted that and or we've got some traction from that we want to expand it. Here's the next place that we start. What we need to start thinking about is how do we expand our exposure? Now that can be done through a lot of different ways but essentially you need to get yourself in front of new people. And by in front of them I don't mean on stage, I mean in rooms with them.

So this is where using strategies like attending conferences that have other people in decision maker roles, right? Not necessarily your ideal clients, but people who would be hosting events or hiring people like you to work with their people. So think about what types of conferences or industry events that might have some of those decision makers. If you work in online marketing in the industry that I'm in, right? With coaching and those types of things, you would probably wanna be at a conference of someone who hosts events or hosts a podcast or have their own group programs or have masterminds, right? So you're not gonna wanna have a conference for brand new people. You're going to wanna be at a conference for more seasoned people. You also can do podcast interviews or if you host a podcast, bring people on, people that you would want to build relationships with and make the experience phenomenal. We also could get yourself in rooms, in masterminds, in other programs, right?

that curriculum itself is valuable for you, but what might be more valuable is the relationships you build with the people. And again, you can't be chasing these for the transaction. You really have to be working on expanding your network to find those right fit matches. Now, the last thing that I want to say is, what do I want to say? I had a thought here and then I heard a noise out in the hallway that the baby's back and he is screaming at me.

Okay, we've talked about the adjacent pitch thing, working the network. We've talked about the expanding your expanding your network. I remember what it is. Okay, so the other thing we can do that's a little bit more tactical is what I want you to do is start building a list for yourself, an event list for yourself. Remember how I mentioned that people sending you leads or like speaking opportunities every week? I, in my opinion, I don't think that is the best way for you to spend your time and energy and effort for the type of speaking that you want to do.

But I will say having a list for yourself could be really valuable. And what I mean by that is pay attention when you see events or you see people who do what you do posting on their social media that they spoke at XYZ event or for this kind of person, start logging those events, the dates, the host, start a log of events that you notice, start paying attention to who's hosting it. Can you find a contact? Can you follow along on that event because they might have a call to speakers next year. The key with events is usually they're annual or a lot of times they're annual, right? So that you're going to notice it, but at time you see it happening, the whole call for speakers has already passed. But what you can do, this is a brilliant kind of trigger point, is what you can do is you see it happen, right? Get it on the list so you can keep track of it.

can put that in a Google sheet or a project management system, whatever your geeky mind, however it works for you. But what you can start doing is saying, how can I start planting the seeds in the relationship now and release the expectation or attachment that you're trying to build a relationship to get on that stage? Instead, think about this like dating. You notice, hey, they have an event coming up. Now you're going to start following that person. You're going to start consuming their content or get into their community and start vibing as cheesy as that sound, to figure out like dating, is this the kind of person that I see myself working with in more of a transformational style relationship? Are the people in their community the type of people that I would want? Like that would be a really great fit for what I do. Are these the right people for my message? So you notice that that trigger event of seeing it could start you kind of exploring, is this the right fit for me? Now, can you do this with every freaking event? No.

But what you can start doing is thinking about this. I talk about how when it comes to stages, there are different types, right? Some stages are going to be what I referenced before as that like one night stand, as in like bam, wham, thank you, ma'am. I said that wrong, but whatever. Where it literally, it's just the stage moment, you're done. And like, that's the end of it. The gig was the gig, it's over. That might happen. I still do these one night stand style speaking events here and there, but beyond that like one night stand is you're gonna have different levels, right? You're going to have relationships that are like at the top level, like really incredible relationships and partners with people where they would invite you on the stage, but they're also gonna promote your program. They're gonna offer everybody and their mom to you. Like it's like the Mecca of a relationship. My friend Linda, she calls it the magic match of a collaboration, right? Where they are just a really great referral source for you. But then in between you have a couple of variations. You might have someone who book like a repeat booker or you might have someone who is a really great like podcast interview or maybe a really great like guest speaking up but not a lot comes from that but like Also, they're great to keep on your radar for down the road or there might be someone who is a great refer But they don't have a stage for you like think about there are different levels of relationships and we don't need to put all these in a container or put labels on them You don't need to create like a matrix to map this out. But just having that level of awareness that different relationships are like planting trees that bear different levels of fruit. That metaphor made sense in my head. I don't know if it actually made sense, but we're just gonna run with it. It's like, they're not all going to be this like super quote profitable relationship. And that's okay, right? But we have to remember that relationships are reciprocal. We have to be also be willing to help other people. We also have to be willing to bring other people in, bringing people along for the ride with us. We have to be thinking about what is the quality of relationships and what kind of brand am I building? What kind of purpose am I living here? That sounds so freaking cheesy, but it's more than the transaction. So as I bring this back up, let me wrap this whole thing together isif the number one question on your brain or the number one thing that's stopping you from making progress this year is you just don't know where to start when it comes to booking stages, that's a bullshit excuse. And you're also know that you're treating things a little bit transactionally. That's not the question that you could be asking to help you get better results. The better question is to start asking, who do you already know in your network that you can work on the relationship with or open a conversation with to start exploring where it goes. I think 2025 is the year where we really start prioritizing relationships, human connection more than ever with the introduction, not introduction, but with that like heavy amplification of AI content is not the thing that's going to get you booked. Content is not the thing that's going to get you remembered. It's not going to be the thing that gets you rebooked or referred content. That's not it. It's relationships. It's your masterful presence on stage. It's your ability to form connections on and off stage that will be your secret weapon. So please, for the love of cheese, please start doubling down on this as a priority. This is not something that should be on the back burner. This is not a later problem. This is not a like, but I have to do the other thing right now. These are seeds you need to be planting like yesterday. That very common saying, I don't remember who says it, but it's famous. So you should probably know by now. If not, let's go Google it. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the next best time is today start planting the relationships, start nurturing those relationships and stop treating the people around you in your network as just dollar signs. You and I both know we hate those people, so we need to catch ourselves when we're starting to think like it. Okay friend, hope this conversation met you exactly at the right time. Give me a ping on Instagram if something I said really hit a nerve today. I can't wait to see what you do with it.

Talk soon.